


Best fake smile

by Justanotherlarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: A lot of sex?, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Harry, Bottom Louis, Divorced Louis, Doctor! Louis, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Happy Ending, Hate to Love, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Intern! Harry, Lies, Louis was married, M/M, Mention of child abuse (but really it's a mention), No blood nothing don't worry, No mentions of illness, Oral Sex, POV of the both of them, Post-Divorce, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Top Harry, Top Louis, Workplace Relationship, but it ends well, hate to love relationship, lying, they both lie and screw up, they kinda share that really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 20:14:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6921442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justanotherlarry/pseuds/Justanotherlarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm bad at summaries.</p><p> </p><p>  <em>Louis works in the biggest hospital in London, and dedicates his whole life to his job. But a curly haired intern starts working in his unit, changing everything. Add a little dash of Niall meddling into his best friend's life, lies, margaritas and an ex-husband to the mix.</em></p><p> </p><p>Based off the prompt: Louis works in pediatrics and Harry is the new intern that he's training. They don't get along at first because Louis takes his job very seriously and Harry is so happy-go-lucky and always joking around with everyone and gets on Louis' last nerve. But after one long late night shift together things start to change between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best fake smile

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crimsontheory](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crimsontheory/gifts).



> The title is after James Bay's song. :) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZme7SwXXws If you'd like to give it a listen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZme7SwXXws)
> 
> Thank you so much for the prompt!!! I had too much fun with it! Of course, being an angst-binging monster I have added a tiny bit of details to fluff it up a bit. 
> 
> Thank you to the moderators for their patience and giving me time to achieve this after I sprained my wrist. Thank you to my wonderful beta for working at the speed of light and encouraging me on the way. 
> 
> As usual, the warnings: I don't have much warnings, except for angst. But despite it being set in a hospital no warning for any illness, mentions or blood or anything. I do not own Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, or anything mentioned in this story. All things described come from my pure imagination, especially regarding St George's hospital, med school, so some stuff about the British medical institutions etc. may be wrong but I tried to be as accurate as I could. 
> 
> TL;DR: It's pure fiction
> 
> Tumblr:[Kissingloubear](http://kissingloubear.tumblr.com) if you'd like to yell at me
> 
> Talk to me on Twitter, I am [@Kissingloubear!! ](https://twitter.com/kissingloubear)!
> 
> EDIT 7.21.16: an epilogue is coming soon!!!

 

 _No you don't have to wear your best fake smile_  
_Don't have to stand there and burn inside_

 

**_Summer 2013_ **

_“It is therefore ordered, adjudged and decreed by the Court that a Decree of Divorce is hereby granted to Louis William Tomlinson and Ethan Reece Fletcher and the marriage relationship existing between the parties is hereby terminated and held for naught and both parties are hereby released…”_

Louis winced as the judge read the decree, the words echoing in the empty courtroom. Next to him was standing his lawyer, visibly detached that a marriage, a bond between two people who once loved each other and promised to spend the rest of their lives together was being torn apart and thrown away like a used tissue. Louis felt his heart shattering in a million pieces in his ribcage, puncturing his lungs, making him nauseous, not because he and Ethan were getting divorced, but by the fact that it was right at that moment that he realized that his lawyer’s obvious detachment summarized the feelings of everyone that Louis knew had about this divorce: indifference.

When Louis told his friends, his family even, that he and who he had thought to be the love of his life were getting a divorce, no one looked surprised, as if since the first day their union had been doomed.

As if they knew that one night Louis would come home earlier from the hospital and find Ethan getting a blowjob by another man in their kitchen. In fact, they had been more surprised when Louis had announced that Ethan had popped the question. Apparently he had been the only one, that had believed that they could actually be a thing, that they could age together and still love each other after having built a life. And yet. Here they were, in this courtroom, both next to their respective lawyers, not daring to look at each other while a stranger was cutting them off from each other’s life permanently. When they would exit the room, they would be two single men again, two strangers without anything to do with each other. And deep inside, Louis felt numb like he had since this whole mockery had begun.

 

**_Three years later - September 3rd 2015_ **

Harry was napping on the couch in his and his best friend Niall’s flat, lazing in the afternoon sunshine. The heat coming from the outside transforming him into some kind of cat/lizard creature, warming up his skin. The previous night they had gone out and went pretty hard. Much to Harry’s dismay, he could hear steps making their way to him, and soon enough, Niall threw himself on the couch where Harry was lounging, half of his body landing on Harry’s who exhaled a big _''Oof ''_ as a reward.

''So, who did you get? '' Niall asked.

Tomorrow their first semester of internship in a hospital would begin. Finally, after hours of classes in med school, essays and exams they would be able to experience the field. Having a good supervisor during your internship meant a lot and everyone was making a big deal about it, except for Harry. In fact, he hadn’t checked his emails yet to see who his superior was.

''I don’t know '' He said, trying to sound detached.

''What does that mean; you don’t know? ''

Harry squeezed his face in his hands and rubbed his eyes, sighing.

''Didn’t go to look at the email yet. ''

''But why! '' Niall burst, shaking his head ''aren’t you excited? … Or… Is it because of your mum? ''

Harry’s mum was a member of the board of St George’s hospital in London, the biggest hospital in the whole United Kingdom and therefore the one that was taking most students from their university for training.

Since before his first day in med school, Harry had always been thankful that his mother’s last name wasn’t the same as his, because his mom was, in addition to being one of the “thinking heads” in one of London’s biggest and most famous hospital, she was also a superstar in her field, neurosurgery, having won numerous prizes and distinctions.

None of Harry’s friends knew about that, except from Niall, whom he had known since they were toddlers, because he didn’t want people to think he didn’t deserve his grades or that he was under some special treatment because of his mother. Which meant Harry had worked himself to death to obtain spectacular grades to prove to everyone but especially himself that he deserved his success.

Harry cleared his throat. ''I know there is a 90% chance I’ll get a position in St George’s so… But no, it’s not because of her. Let me check. ''

He extracted his mobile from his pocket and clicked on the mail icon. Of course there was a mail from his university waiting for him, the blue dot next to the message, signaling him that it hadn’t been read yet, daunting him. His thumb trembling a bit, he opened the message, his heart racing in his ribcage, his breath hitching as he read the name.

''Louis Tomlinson. Pediatric emergency unit. Saint George’s. '' He stated, exhaling.

''That’s so great! '' Exclaimed Niall, wrapping Harry in one of his infamous bear hugs. ''I’m in St George’s too! I’m with Zayn Malik in radiology! That’s so great we’re in the same hospital. Also, I think Ed had Tomlinson last year, apparently he’s great, a great laugh but you’ll also learn a lot from him apparently. He’s tough.''

Harry smiled at Niall, his joy being infectious and started to feel excited too. He loved children and apparently Louis Tomlinson was pretty well-known in the field. He finally started to hug Niall back.

''Let’s have a beer to celebrate! '' Cheered Niall, his Irish accent getting thicker with excitement. ''To St George! '' Rising to his feet and going to the kitchen, Harry following him closely.

Harry smiled and clinked his beer bottle with Niall’s, his heart fluttering with excitement inside his chest.

 

**_Monday, September 4th 2015_ **

 

Louis hated mornings. In fact, it wasn’t the morning itself that he hated, since well, he had no choice given his profession but to have early mornings and late nights but it was waking up alone that he loathed and the thought of confronting yet another day. Also, waking up in Liam’s guestroom bed because he couldn’t handle sleeping in his own house wasn’t a thing he was proud of. He didn’t get much sleep the previous night anyways, with Liam being up doing whatever he was up to and also his ex-husband flaunting his new life on snapchat. Nice.

Louis had tried his best not to look at the story, he knew it was toxic and if Ethan had moved on it was maybe time for him too, but he couldn’t restrain himself and took a peek on his ex’s new extravagant life. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy when he had seen that Ethan and his new boyfriend actually enjoyed late night dinners at fancy restaurants during the week, which Louis had never been able to do at the time they were married, given his tight schedule. Anyway, Louis had given up on dating a long time ago. He hadn’t the time or patience to go through the whole process again, his heart having taken too long to heal after the divorce.

That morning, Louis was supposed to meet his new intern. He actually liked having an intern, being able to share his passion for his job with someone else, rejoicing in the possibility of transmitting his knowledge. He had especially loved the intern he had had the year before, Ed. The guy was brilliant but sadly had moved to another hospital. They had had a great experience and they often kept each other updated about their respective lives, meeting for a pint when Ed was in London.

Thinking about writing to Ed soon, he entered the changing rooms of the hospital, when his body bumped against one taller, more muscular one. Louis lifted up his eyes and they landed on the prettiest green eyes he had ever seen. The guy was smiling at him, a dimple forming in his cheek, revealing perfect teeth. Louis felt his skin shivering as he took in the guy’s appearance, realizing suddenly the odd resemble that the stranger had with his ex-husband, both being tall, brunette guys with green eyes. He felt a knot forming in his throat, suddenly remembering his ex.

“Oops.” The guy muttered. “I’m sorry. I’m such a klutz sometimes.”

The boy was really handsome from where Louis was standing. He assumed some of the nurses or other interns might have difficulties concentrating on the job. That dimple could cause some unwanted rom-com drama in the halls, but even if it distracted from the reality of death and illness they were surrounded with, everyone will be doing their job. At least while he was in charge. Louis Tomlinson didn’t and would not tolerate slackers. So no flirting or fawning over cute interns.

 _Where was his intern anyway?_ They were supposed to meet in front of the changing rooms and he wasn’t there to be seen yet. Louis decided to go ahead and get changed because he had no time to lose in his busy day. The emergency room had been open the whole night and he knew that the ones who had done the night shift were impatient to go and finally get some rest, so it was time to get a move on.And this stranger looking like his ex made him feel uncomfortable and made his skin itch.

“It’s alright.” He said in an impatient voice, moving swiftly to his locker, the other man frowning at him.

“I’m Harry.” The man said, after clearing his throat “Harry Styles?”

Louis turned around, discovering Harry looking sheepishly at him.

“I thought I said in my email that we were supposed to meet in front of the changing rooms 10 minutes ago?” He asked in a pinched voice, his facial expression matching his tone.

“Oh. You said in front… I thought your email said inside.” Harry answered, apparently hoping that a goofy smile would be sufficient to get away with it. Louis shook his head interiorly. This guy didn’t know him yet and therefore that a saccharine smile and a joke weren’t working for him.

“It said _outside_. Anyways, off to a good start I guess, Styles.” He said, Harry appearing visibly shocked to his scolding tone. “I guess I’ll have to brief you on the way to the department then. You have five minutes to get changed and we’re off.” He said, more like barked, before turning around and getting to his locker.

This intern was already getting on his nerves and they hadn’t spent three minutes with each other. _Who did he think he was? Why did he think that being late wasn’t a big thing? Was this all a joke to him?_

See, the thing is that Louis Tomlinson’s life was his job. He had thrived and worked hard to get where he was. It hadn’t been easy, consecrating all those years of his life for med school instead of helping his mom.

Louis had five sisters and a brother and his mom had raised them all alone. She was a nurse, and money was tight more often than not. So, of course, since the age he had been able to, Louis had worked to help his mother make sure that at the end of the month they could meet both ends.

But going to med school had been a big sacrifice for him and his family. Without Louis’ more than welcome salary it hadn’t been a walk in the park and he was eternally thankful for his mom and the fact that she had always been supportive of him and his studies, despite of the fact that meant for her that she couldn’t afford some things. Thankfully, her new husband, Dan, had made things easier for them all. Allowing Louis to go through med school without worrying about taking care of the rest of the family.

Also, Louis was conscious that his job had played a huge part in his and Ethan’s divorce. And sometimes he couldn’t help but feel guilty about it. Guilty for the late nights, for finding Ethan asleep on the couch on their anniversary night, on Valentine’s day, all the nights he had spent waiting for him but Louis had a night shift. All those weekends Louis had spent away from home, working. And when he was there, he wasn’t really there properly to speak, his mind always traveling back to the hospital, to a patient. No wonder Ethan has searched somewhere else what Louis wasn’t giving him.

So, yes, his job was all that Louis had that remained. He had sacrificed a lot to get there and stay there, and an intern wasn’t going to compromise that.

After getting changed and scrubbing his hands, he got out of the changing rooms, barreling towards the pediatrics department, Harry, despite his long legs, had trouble following him, his pink crocs squeaking on the linoleum floor. _Who even wore pink crocs?_ Frowning, Louis took his board and started reading the schedule, starting his rant.

''Alright. My name is Louis Tomlinson; I will be your supervisor for the next six months. Working with us will be Miss Edwards here” he pointed at a blonde girl who was bandaging a little girl “And Miss Hudson. Other people from the general emergency room and from other pediatric units rotate, but this is the permanent team. The night shifts last till three o’clock in the morning, there will be two to three late night shifts per week, we tend to rotate and switch teams, but on most of them, since you’re an intern, I will stay with you. As you know, your internship takes place in the pediatric emergency room, which is nice because you’ll get to see a lot of different cases and people, making it easier not to grow attached…''

''So, no strings attached? '' Joked Harry, bashfully smiling at Louis, who watched him bewildered before addressing the joke with a sneer.

''…. If you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask me. Oh. And please put your hair in a bun.'' He finished his tirade, crinkling his nose and giving a dirty look at Harry’s hair, turned around, before making a hand move indicating that Harry had to follow him.

Harry hastily searched a hair tie in his pocket while walking behind Louis who rolled his eyes at the ceiling, remembering the joke. This was going to be a long morning.

 

+++

 

Liam and Louis were already seated in the cafeteria, waiting for Zayn to join them. It always had been their little routine since their friendship began, even though they didn’t really see each other during the day, as they were working each on different floors, they always made sure to at least meet for lunch every day and for lad’s night at least once a week. And of course, since his divorce, Louis had been sleeping alternatively at Zayn’s or Liam’s. Louis had some trouble sleeping in the house he once shared with his husband, the memories keeping him awake at night, feeling lonely and cold in the empty bed. He felt like he was living in a house that had been burnt down. His house used to be a happy home, full of joy and love and now it felt like a sanctuary, a memorial to a happiness that once was.

Zayn appeared out of the queue, his face for once showing off a tinge of excitement, which was… Well. Pretty unusual for Zayn who was the king of poker faces, never indulging anyone with so much as a forced smirk or a knowing stare.

''Have you guys seen the new guy? ''

Louis frowned. He didn’t need much more detail to know who Zayn was talking about. Harry Styles, the new star of the hospital, the supermodel who was kind enough to grace them with his presence and who apparently had already all the people in the children ER wrapped around his little fingers, except for Louis. He sighed stabbing a pea with his fork.

''Which one? '' Asked Liam, his voice tinged with curiosity.

''The Abercrombie model!! Must be a new intern. Tall, green eyes, very friendly and smiley. ''

''He’s my intern. ''Grumbled Louis, not lifting his eyes from his plate, visibly brooding.

Liam and Zayn exchanged knowing looks, and Louis knew they thought he was oblivious to them, but that only made him more irritated. What was everyone’s problem with Styles? He wasn’t that gorgeous.

Sure he had nice hair and eyes, and looked properly fuckable, but the sound of his stupid jokes, his donkey laugh, and the self-assurance that seemed to seep out of his pores, as well as his uncanny resemblance with Ethan were sufficient to make Louis cringe and all the nerves in his body curl up in distaste, and now everyone and their relatives were in love with him.

Plus, he was so unprofessional! He had been joking around the whole morning with his knock-knock jokes and utterly atrocious puns. Louis was so deep in his internal rant against Harry Styles that he didn’t even hear Liam addressing him.

''What? '' He asked, dumbfounded.

''How is he like, personality wise? ''

Louis almost could feel his teeth gritting against each other. Liam and Zayn thought they were so imperceptible. Yes, Harry was typically Louis’ type, and you had to be blind not to notice his resemblance with Louis’ ex, but that didn’t mean he could charm Louis off his pants right away.

He took in a long breath and answered, his gaze focused on the potato he was busy lacerating with his knife on his plate.

''Well, apart from the fact that he’s monstrously unprofessional, that he doesn’t take any part of his internship seriously and seems to think that his shit doesn’t stink, he’s nice, I guess. '' He answered, leaving Liam and Zayn puzzled and silent, looking at each other, their eyebrows raised after Louis’ sudden and unexpected outburst.

But as usual, they knew not to pressure Louis, and that he was sometimes a bit moody and fragile, so they just nodded and kept eating, starting another conversation, much to Louis’ contentment.

 

+++

 

On the other side of the cafeteria, Niall was already eating, his stomach had been grumbling for the last couple of hours, when Harry brusquely set his tray on the table, sitting in a huff. Niall interrupted himself to greet him with a cheery smile, but was baffled when he saw that Harry, who was usually bright and lively, was instead looking grumpy and annoyed.

''What’s up? Had a bad morning? ''

''He knows. '' Harry groaned.

''What? '' Niall frowned, his mouth projecting crumbs all over his tray. ''Who? Who knows what? ''

''Tomlinson, my referent, he knows about my mum." Harry released a sigh, his hands massaging his face.

''What makes you say that? ''

''Well, you told me he was nice, a great laugh, but in fact he’s more like the Ice Queen, mixed with a very angry Chihuahua who keeps barking at me and showing his teeth. ''

Niall let out a loud cackle, making a few people turn around.

''Why? Didn’t get to charm him with your unique charisma?'' He laughed, his tone remaining light-hearted.

''No, but seriously Niall, I tried everything, even knock-knock jokes'' That particular information made Niall almost strangle himself with laughter. ''And nothing. He just ignores me and at best he’s chastising me. ''

''Give him some time'' Niall added, between shoving forkfuls of Bolognese pasta into his mouth. ''M’sure the whole _Style’s style_ will start working soon. And if not, confront him or just ask to change department I guess. ''

''Yeah you’re right. I don’t want to abandon after my first day. ''

Harry sighed and finally started eating, initiating with Niall their usual banter and teasing.

 

+++

 

But in fact, as the days went by, Louis’ attitude never changed, he was always distant. Never laughing to any of Harry’s jokes, only sneering at him, ordering around and scolding him. Louis apparently lived for his job and didn’t leave a single second for pleasure in it. Everything was working like a finely tuned clock, no disruption, no worries, nothing. Louis was like a robot, accomplishing the task at hand without any room for hesitation. The thing is that he was brilliant. He obviously knew his field and went from task to task expertly, never showing any sign of doubt. But still, it made the task of learning from him very difficult, because he wasn’t open to share anything.

Thankfully, it wasn’t the same for the other people of the department who apparently, just like Harry did, had grown accustomed to Louis’ cold personality. The other people were pretty nice and cheery, especially Barbara (Miss Hudson) and Perrie, two nurses who had grown immediately attached to Harry, and in Barbara’s case, to playfully pinch his bum in the corridors.

Oddly, the only people that seemed to melt the ice around Louis were children, which was a blessing because his attitude would have been a difficulty if not. But in fact, with children, Louis was a proper sweetheart, reassuring them and making sure they were at ease, and the children gave it back to him with smiles and the occasional drawings of « Dr. Louis ».

 

**_Monday, September 10th 2015_ **

 

One week later, it was time for Harry’s first night shift, and he was dreading it. He was about to spend six long hours alone with Louis Tomlinson. He was scared that fatigue and Louis’ natural crankiness weren’t going to be a good mix. That’s why he had spent the day as far from Louis as he could, enjoying Barbara and Perrie’s company instead. He entered the bathroom adjoined to the changing room just after dinner to brush his teeth and heard muffled voice coming from the bathroom part. He couldn’t help when he recognized Louis’ voice but to step a little closer so he could hear better. He recognized Dr Payne’s voice along with a sniffling noise. _Was Louis making Dr Payne cry?_

''Lou… It’s gonna be alright. Listen, you can stay one more week, alright? '' Dr. Payne was talking a in sweet, calming voice, sniffing sounds reverberating in the room.

“Yeah, I’m sorry Liam… It’s just. I’m such a mess.” Louis’ voice resounded, sounding broken, like Harry had never heard before. “I’ll come and pick up my stuff tomorrow morning. You and Sophia have every right to be alone in your flat, it’s not your fault if I’m such a baby that can’t stay in his.” Harry frowned. Louis was obviously crying.

“You’re not a baby Louis…” Liam sighed, and from the sound of it, he was rubbing Louis’ back, the rigid fabric of the uniform making a recognizable noise.

“No, I’m just a divorcee who after two years is still a mess because it’s my own fucking fault!”

Harry’s eyes went wide. _Louis was divorced?!_ The door behind him suddenly opened, making him jump and drop his toothbrush and toiletry bag on the floor, Louis and his friend going silent, giving Harry no choice but to crouch and thankfully he was still not visible to Louis and Liam. When he finally was done retrieving his stuff Louis and Liam were gone.

He finished preparing himself for the shift and joined Louis who was practicing stitches on a little boy’s knee. His eyes still looking a little bit red.

“Where were you? You’re late.” Scolded Louis, looking pointedly at the watch that was on the wall.

“I…” Harry was ready to fight back as usual, but he decided for once to let it go. “I’m sorry, Dr. Tomlinson.” He said in a small voice, instead opting to turn around and take disinfectant spray in the small tray next to him and handing it to Louis who was looking at him with wide eyes.

The rest of the night went on pretty uneventful since it was a weeknight, only a few panicked parents coming in with children with fevers and the flu. Around three o’clock they were done, the rest of the patients having started to move to the general emergency room, which was open all night. In the changing rooms, Harry was feeling so drowsy and tired after this long day, his eyes were burning and he could feel them almost close themselves. Louis entered the room, clutching two steamy cups.

“Thought you’d want a cuppa before leaving.” He said quietly, not looking at Harry.

Harry nodded and sat on the bench, taking one of the cups from Louis’ hands and smiling as a thank you.

“So how did your first night shift go?” Louis asked. Harry turned around, completely baffled. It was the first time that Louis was actually asking something from him that wasn’t work related, but more an appreciation of the day.

“Tiring.” He said, yawning. “But I get it, you know.” Louis turned around frowning, channeling Harry to continue. “Your passion for your work. I get it now, the adrenalin.”

Louis nodded, looking at his cup of tea with an unreadable look. A few beats passed before he opened his mouth, his lips moving lazily with tiredness, Harry feeling hypnotized by them.

“I get it from my mom. She’s a nurse.” He said, smiling with the first genuine smile Harry had ever seen coming from him.

Harry smiled, a light huff coming from him in recognition. “I know that feeling, it’s the same for me I guess.”

“Your mom is a nurse too?”

“Kind off…” Harry said, lingering. He didn’t feel ready to confide in Louis yet. Especially since it was their first normal conversation.

They stayed like this for a few minutes, the sounds of them sipping on their teas the only sound in the room. Suddenly, Louis broke the silence.

“Hey Styles, wanna see my favorite place in the hospital?” Harry nodded silently before getting up at the same time as Louis. They exited the changing room, crossing several corridors.

It felt surreal, walking in companionable silence together in those big empty halls, still illuminated by the artificial light as if it was the afternoon when in fact it was the middle of the night. Despite the utter silence that seemed deafening, there was some sort of buzz in the air that you could feel surrounding you. As if the hospital was a gigantic but silent beehive, with millions of people in it, working, recovering, praying. It was like the ocean, looking peaceful and without any wave breaking it but with fishes swarming on the inside.

They finally arrived in front of a huge glass panel, Louis finally stopping and looking at Harry before turning around and looking behind the glass.

On the other side of the glass, Harry discovered at least twenty little plastic cribs, perfectly aligned, each one of them holding peacefully sleeping babies. His heart suddenly felt so full of love for all those sleeping innocent beings who had just been welcomed to the world.

“I love babies…” He muttered, his hand caressing the glass.

“Yeah… Me too.” Breathed Louis, his eyes crinkling as he took in the babies.

“Do you have siblings?”

“Yeah. 5 sisters and a brother.”

“Wow. That’s… Like a mini soccer team!” Harry exclaimed, his voice remaining low because of the sleeping babies.

Louis turned his head and smiled at him, his eyes crinkling. Harry’s heart skipped a beat and he swallowed his words.

“You wanna have kids one day?” Louis asked, in a conversational tone.

“Tons.” Harry admitted, smiling bashfully. “You?”

“I hope to.” Louis said, his smile falling, and much to Harry’s dismay, his face closed at that instant as he went back to looking at the babies on the other side of the glass. The moment was apparently over.

That night, when Harry went to sleep, he dreamed of babies and crinkled blue eyes.

 

**_Tuesday, October 1st_**

 

It was a Tuesday, at the end of Harry’s first month of internship, that a little girl came in with her mother, clutching her arm and grimacing in pain.

''She broke her arm, falling down from the swings.'' Explained her mother, looking as panicked as her daughter.

Harry crouched and put his arm reassuringly on the little girl’s shoulder, as Louis was looking at the file prepared a few minutes before by Barbara.

''Alright, we’re going to check that. Have you ever had a radiography, sweetheart?'' Harry asked in a sweet voice. The girl, named Martha, shook her head, sniffling.

''Don’t worry then, you’ll see it’s really fun!'' Cheered Harry, trying to make the girl smile, which earned an eye roll from Louis.

''All right. We’re gonna examine her in room C, please follow us.'' Louis said in his calm, usual voice.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, they were settling down in an examination room, the little girl sitting on a hospital bed, Louis on a small stool and Harry for more discretion in the corner of the room, leaving the remaining stool for the mother.

Harry zoned out for a bit, observing as Louis was carefully auscultating the girl’s arm. But suddenly his eyes went wide as he saw a badly shaped bruise just on the back of the little girl’s neck. Looking more closely, he could see another one on her ankle and on the back of her arm as if she had been pinched. Harry frowned. She couldn’t have possibly done this by falling from a swing. Or maybe she was bullied at school? Or something else Harry didn’t even want to think about.

His heart started racing, he had to get to the bottom of it. But his thoughts were interrupted when Louis rose from his stool, announcing to the girl and her mother that they would have to do a radiography to be safe, but that it wasn’t a fracture. He then turned around and asked Harry to go and get the radiography room ready.

''Of course, Doctor, but can you just show me something before?'' Harry asked in an unnaturally high pitched voice. Sadly, he couldn’t lie even if his life depended on it, but he hoped that Tomlinson would understand he was troubled.

''What do you want me to show you?'' Asked icily Louis, in a voice clearly indicating that he wasn’t in the mood to humor Harry.

''I…I don’t remember where the imaging plates are stored.'' Harry lied.

Louis sighed loudly to show his annoyance and once again rolled his eyes.

''Alright. If you'll excuse me. '' He turned around, smiling at the mother with his perfect fake smile, before facing Harry, watching him with a murderous look on his face.

They exited the room and crossed the corridor. Harry stopped abruptly in his tracks.

''Sir, I… I know where the plates are stored, I…I just'' Harry blubbered. ''I just remarked some suspect bruises on the patient’s arms.'' He said in a breath, holding it and dreading Louis’ reaction.

''What the fuck are you on about, Styles?'' Louis seemed pretty much ready to explode. ''Have you ever seen a child? Children always have bruises because they run around, the play and may fall. God and you’re making lose everyone’s time for….''

''No, but they’re not at some odd place… It looks like she… She has been abused.'' Harry blurted out, interrupting Louis’ rant, hoping to make him calm down and finally listen.

Sadly, it was all the contrary, Louis rubbed his eyes and sighed, ignoring Harry and going back in the examination room, leaving Harry alone in the corridor, before coming back with Martha this time, holding her sweetly by the hand, shooting Harry a dark look who clearly meant he must keep silent from now on if he didn’t want to get into trouble.

They went in the radiography room and sat Martha on a stool next to the radiography table, Louis leaving Harry in the room with the little girl and entering an adjoining room.

''Martha, do you like school?'' Asked Harry, taking advantage of being alone with the girl, and feigning conversation to reassure the little girl, when he fact he had an idea behind this. Even though he was in another room, Louis could perfectly hear what they were saying, thus making it easy to prove his point.

''Very much! My best friends are Maggie and Emma!'' Said the girl in a cheery voice.

''Alright. And does your daddy know that you’re here?''

Harry didn’t expect the little girl’s face to fall like it did.

''No he doesn’t.'' she said, before whispering ''Mommy said it’s our secret.''

Harry abruptly turned around to look at Louis who looked baffled at first, before frowning and shaking his head. Harry frowned back but decided to let it go. Maybe Louis was right, he had seen way too much television.

The rest of the examination went pretty well, Martha’s wrist was in fact sprained, she got out of the examination room with a brand new brace and a cherry lolly.

''Thank you so much.'' Martha’s mom thanked, shaking Louis’ hand, before turning around and looking at her daughter. ''You’re gonna be careful on the trampoline now, right sweetheart?''

Martha cheered, Louis suddenly stilling.

''You said she fell down from the swing?''

''Oh yeah!'' The mother looked visibly embarrassed. ''The trampoline was last time! Always the little adventurer that one!!'' She laughed in an exaggerated tone, petting Martha's blond hair.

Next to Louis, Harry stilled and looked at him, giving him a knowing look.

 

+++

 

Harry entered the changing room sighing, thinking about the night should have been expecting him if he didn’t have this stupid night shift. He would probably head home and have a long relaxing bath with a Lush bath bomb. And then Niall would probably get hungry and they’d order some Chinese food and would binge on the couch wearing sweatpants. Perfect night if you asked Harry, to conclude such a shitty day.

After Martha’s mom had been taken away to be questioned and child services contacted, Louis’ mood hadn’t changed whatsoever. He had been his moody self as usual and it was really starting to get on Harry’s nerves.

He decided to take a shower before his shift, and started to undress himself, taking off his uniform shirt and was now half naked, only wearing his now infamous pink crocs and uniform bottoms when the door slammed behind him.

He turned around to see who it was to greet them when, to his disappointment and annoyance, he saw that it was only Louis who looked even more annoyed than usual. Harry was about to turn around without acknowledging him when in a fraction of seconds, Louis was crowding his space, pushing him firmly against the lockers.

''What the fuck was that, Styles?'' He spat, looking and sounding livid.

Harry furrowed his brows in confusion.

''What?''

''Since when do you undermine me in front of patients? Since when is it okay to deny your referent’s authority?'' Louis grumbled, looking even angrier at Harry’s confusion.

''I didn’t undermine you or your authority!'' Harry responded vigorously, still not pushing Louis away ''You weren’t listening to me because it’s always the same thing with you – you are the one who’s always right and never listens to anyone! You’re a fucking bully, acting like you own the place and it gives you the right to act superior.''

Ending his rant, Harry realized his voice was getting wobbly, his eyes filling with tears of anger. He closed his eyes, trying to regain composure but that only made a tear escape and roll on his cheek. He felt petrified, not daring to open his eyes again to face Louis and admit the effect that he had on him. But when he finally opened his eyes, Louis’ grip on him having loosened up, he was stricken to see the look of utter sadness and weakness and Louis’ face.

''Harry…'' He said in a husky, low voice, almost a whisper, his voice breaking ''Fuck… Harry… I’m so sorry. I’m such a mess – I’m…'' He paused, apparently not knowing what to say next.

Harry felt himself blushing, realizing the fact that it was the first time that he and Louis were calling each other with their first name.

''It-It’s alright. I am sorry. I was way out of hand and-''

''No. '' Louis interrupted him ''I have been treating you bad and for this I’m sorry.'' He then rose back on his feet, putting a distance between the two of them. “Listen, I think you’re tired. I’ll ask Perrie to join me on the shift tonight.”

"No it’- "

"Go have a good night of rest. I’ll see you tomorrow." Louis ended the conversation and exited the room.

 

**_Wednesday, October 2nd 2015_ **

 

The next day, when he arrived to work, Harry didn’t know what to expect really, but he surely hadn’t expected what happened: nothing. Louis went on with his attitude, as if nothing had ever happened the night before. Which made Harry slightly disappointed. He really wanted to get along with Louis or at least pierce the carapace he seemed to be hiding behind.

That’s why when he arrived in the cafeteria and saw that Niall wasn’t seating alone as usual but with Dr. Payne and Dr. Malik, along with Dr. Tomlinson, he couldn’t suppress a sigh of annoyance.

He very well knew that Niall, as usual, had fast become best friends with everyone in the hospital, but Dr. Payne and Malik had seemed to take an instant liking to the Irish guy. So unsurprisingly they had begun to hang out outside of the hospital, sometimes with Harry tagging along.

Harry couldn’t stop himself from being envious of Niall having such a great relationship with his supervisor, in comparison to his relationship with Louis. He sat down, on the other side of the table, facing Louis, avoiding to look at him while he greeted the other men at the table.

“So, Harry” Niall began, shoveling food in his mouth at record speed. “We were talking about ‘aving a lad’s night out sometime and I thought…”

Harry muted Niall right at that instant, begging him silently and screaming internally at what he knew was coming next.

“… That they could join us tonight!” Niall finished, smiling encouragingly at Harry.

Of course they had talked with Niall about his relationship with Louis and how much it was weighing him during the day. And of course, Niall being the life of the party, always suggested Harry to go and get a drink with Louis to try and tame what was happening between the two of them and also maybe because Harry, after a few drinks, had confided that he found Louis quite hot. Therefore, Niall had decided to execute his plan without warning Harry first. Brilliant. Now Harry was stuck.

Once every month, he and Niall had made it a habit to go to a Latin dance party that was organized in a club near their flat. Strangely, Harry, despite the fact that he looked like a fawn learning to walk in his daily life, had a natural gift for salsa and other Latin dances and Niall, let’s admit it, was only interested on the pretty girls that went to the party. And of course, since it was two-person dances, Niall was happy to oblige and dance – or more try to – with the girls that didn’t have a partner.

Harry didn’t get a chance to reply that Dr Payne was already talking.

“What are you up to?”

Harry cringed internally.

“Well, every month there is this salsa party in a club and we go, Harry busts some moves while I pull” Niall laughed, soon joined by Drs Payne and Malik.

“That’s so great!” Liam answered enthusiastically, before turning to Zayn. “We’d love to go with you!” Zayn nodded and they all turned to Louis who blushed and shook his head.

“I’m a terrible dancer, I’ll just pass…” Earning sounds of protests from the other boys except Harry.

“You don’t have to dance; we’ll just get a pitcher of margaritas!!!” promised Zayn.

Louis pretended to be in deep thoughts for a few seconds before nodding, rousing a howl of enthusiasm from Niall and for Harry’s insides, on the other hand, to crumble.

 

+++

 

Later that night, Louis was at Liam’s to get ready for their big night out, and he couldn’t help but to be angry at his friend for cornering him like this.

“I thought you knew how much I hate dancing” Louis complained.

“Aww come on Louis, it’s gonna be fun. And you’ll at least try and get to know your intern better.”

“What if I don’t want to?” Louis replied stubbornly.

“Louis. Stop pretending. He’s your type. Leggy, green eyes, curly hair and frankly he’s really hot, he really does look attractive.”

Louis rolled his eyes, huffing.

“I knew tonight was about that. No, I don’t want to screw my intern. I don’t want to screw anyone really.”

“Seriously, Tommo, it’s time now, for fuck's sake. You’ve been divorced for two years. It’s time to get laid.” Liam took a peek on the watch that was circling his wrist “And also time to go anyway, come on!”

Louis closed his eyes, pinching his nose and followed his friend out of the flat. Tonight was going to be a nightmare.

 

+++

 

They entered the club and it wasn’t at all what Louis expected. It was much worse. Latin music vibrating to a deafening level, drunk people prancing around. Louis felt ridiculous and out of place. So when they finally spotted Niall and Zayn at a table he was relieved to finally sit down.

“Where’s Harry?” Asked Liam.

“Already on the dance floor! You have to go and watch him, the man can bust a move!” Niall exclaimed, pouring them each a margarita from a pitcher that was already on the table, just before ordering another one from a waitress passing by, as well as a round of tequila shots. “Cheers guys!” He said, raising his glass, followed by Liam and Zayn.

After two – or was it three? – margaritas, Louis finally felt himself loosen up. He was surrounded by two of his best friends, talking about hospital gossip, and the music wasn’t so bad after all, so maybe that’s why he had completely forgotten that Harry was supposed to join them and almost spat his margarita when he saw him.

Harry appeared, emerging from the crowd like some siren from the sea and – _holy smokes_ – his hospital uniform and crocs didn’t give him any justice. He looked like sex on legs. His hair, normally in a bun, was let down in loose shiny curls, framing his delicate face. He was wearing a lavender shirt with a tiny white stars pattern, open enough so that you could get a perfect view of the two swallows adorning his torso, along with random necklaces. His jeans seemed to be painted on, showing even more skin with the holes on the knees.

Louis felt dizzy and drank his glass at an alarming speed.

“Hiiii” Harry slurred, sitting down next to Louis, giving the latter the chance to smell his scent, a mix of cologne, baby powder and sweat from all the dancing.

“Here’s the hero of the night!” Niall cheered, waving the pitcher in the air. “Tequila, Haz?”

“You know I don’t have to be drunk to throw crazy shapes, Nialler.” Harry smiled, taking a clean glass and handing it to Niall anyways.

Niall handed him back a full glass that Harry sipped in almost one go, before catching up with their conversation. Louis was suddenly mute, too busy observing him, and the way his hands were playing with the bracelets around his wrists, much to Liam’s amusement. Suddenly, he got out of his daze as Liam talked louder.

“Come on, give us an introduction crash-course!”

“Well, Liam I’m glad you asked” Harry answered in a drunken cheery voice. They all got up, wobbling a little bit as they crossed the room and went into the crowd, following Harry close were Niall and Zayn. Louis got up last and almost jumped when Liam took him by the elbow and pulled him slightly closer to him.

“Watch out Lou, you’re gonna get drool on the floor.” He said, approaching his mouth to Louis’ ear to make sure to be heard.

“Don’t be ridiculous” Louis snorted.

Liam didn’t answer, just wiggled his eyebrows and mouthed the words _“get laid”_ before turning around and joining the others.

And Louis was forced to admit that, as much as Harry was a klutz and couldn’t control his giraffe-like legs at work, causing mess from tripping on a daily basis (like the time he just fell on the floor for no reason while holding a tray of – thankfully empty – sample bottles), he was a pretty good dancer. Louis was mesmerized by his dancing, and the way his little hips – and that ass – shook in rhythm with the music, making Louis want to grab them and mark them with the tips of his fingers. He diverted his gaze just one second to see that Liam was looking at him, grinning like the Cheshire cat in the Disney movie. Right.

He tried his best to dance to the music, but he knew he looked out of place, while Harry looked like a god, shaking his hair and seemingly ready to be the next winner of dancing with the stars.

Suddenly the music changed, and a lot of people around them started dancing together. Brusquely, Liam pulled his hand and almost dragged him to Harry and pushed him in his arms. Louis tripped and felt himself stiffen when he felt strong arms and hands circling his biceps, steadying him from his wobbly stance.

“Oops.” Said Harry, trying to apparently joke it off.

Louis rose his head and looked at Harry, timidly smiling.

“Hi…” He said, lamely, trying to smile back.

“Now that we’re here, I should give you that crash-course, I guess?” Harry said in a joking tone, earning a timid nod from Louis.

“Okay. So you’ll be the man and I’ll be the girl” He said in a serious, concentrated tone. “So, move your left foot towards me…” Louis did as explained and moved his left foot as Harry moved his right foot back. “Good. Now, lift your right heel. Yes, now move your left foot back, and same with the right.”

After two or three tries, and a few encouragements from Harry, Louis and he were finally dancing in a coordinated way.

“Very good!” Harry cheered. “So now…” He smiled, visibly blushing and looking nervous. “You can… Um. You can do this and move your hips. Against mine.”

Louis felt himself redden and wanted to hide, thinking about how embarrassing it would be to sport a semi while dancing with his intern. But suddenly he felt Harry’s hands against his hips, pushing them forward, sticking them against his.

“Good.” Harry muttered, before taking one of Louis’ hands in his and holding his waist with the other, his hand spreading on Louis’ back, taking control of his movements.

Louis didn’t know if it was the tequila from the margaritas but he couldn’t detach his eyes from Harry, and the dance made him feel hot all-over. His insides felt tingly, and he felt lightheaded, almost dizzy.

“Are you alright?” Harry asked, frowning.

“Yeah… I’m…”

“Wanna go get a drink?”

Louis shook his head.

“Cheers.” He said, more like screamed over the loud music. “So are you liking it so far?”

He looked at Louis right in the eyes, their bodies being pushed together by the crowd gathering around them in large numbers, Harry’s body completely stuck against his, their noses almost bumping as their faces were close, so close. He could sense Harry’s hand slowly descending from his back to his ass, Louis almost wishfully thinking he would go ahead and grab it, giving it a squeeze. He could feel Harry's breath on his face, his exhalations smelling like tequila and lime.

Suddenly, he rose on his feet, swaying a little because of his tipsiness, and did what seemed to be the only right thing to do at that moment: he connected his lips to Harry’s. The other man seemed surprised at first, but didn’t wait too long to start kissing him back, and suddenly they weren’t dancing anymore, more like grinding raunchily against each other, Louis’ hands having moved on to hold Harry’s head, tugging slightly on the loose slightly damp curls, eliciting a moan from the younger man, which allowed Louis to lick his opened lips, Harry opening his mouth completely. Harry finally grabbed Louis’ ass, squeezing it properly, earning a whine from Louis, almost lifting him, their height difference diminishing as Harry was bent over him.

They were now kissing open mouthed, their tongues rubbing against each other, as if they were drinking each other. The sparkles that were lit in Louis’ stomach soon traveled to his groin, his semi dangerously growing inside his tight jeans.

Harry interrupted their kiss and clutched him closer, grabbing Louis’ hips, pushing them forward, allowing him to feel the semi that he was sporting too, and evidently not helping with his, his cock twitching in interest in his pants.

“Fuck… Louis…” He rasped in a wrecked voice, Louis feeling even more aroused as he realized it was the first time that Harry called him by his name.

“Let’s get out of here” Louis begged, his hands traveling to Harry’s ass, squeezing it. He felt Harry stiffen under his touch and pulled away, to get a better view on his face. Seeing Harry’s blank face, he felt as if a bucket of iced water had been spilled on his head. “If… If you want to.”

Harry frowned almost comically before drawing back to Louis and attaching their lips, kissing him in a hungry, needy way, before pulling back. “Your place?” He muttered sloppily against Louis’ ear, kissing his neck.

Louis frowned. Even in his drunken daze he couldn’t bring Harry there. He wasn’t ready to bring anyone at his place.

“Nah. Yours?”

Harry nodded, biting his bottom lips, and grabbed Louis hands, taking him outside the club.

The cab ride was short, since the club was close to Harry and Niall’s flat or maybe it was because as soon as his ass had hit the backseat, Harry had grabbed Louis and started kissing him again, almost straddling him in the small space, no thoughts spared for the disgruntled cabbie.

They entered the flat, and Harry pulled him right into his bedroom, discarding his shirt on the floor, both of them tripping a little and giggling as they did. He opened the bedside table and took out a bottle of lube and a few condoms. Before spreading himself on the bed, pulling Louis back on top of him and resuming their kissing.

Harry made a quick work of taking off Louis’ t-shirt, sucking bruises on his “ _it is what it is_ ” tattoo. He then took his and Louis’ jeans off.

He took Louis’ cock in his hand, tugging it a few times, making Louis moan in his ear and hissing at the sudden contact.

“Do you prefer to top or bottom?” Harry said in a low voice, still rubbing his hand on Louis’ cock, collecting the precome on the tip and spreading it, before leaning down and giving it a few licks.

“T…Top.” Louis said in a moan.

Harry suddenly stiffened, his hand stopping his movements. Louis opened his eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

“Dunno. Pictured you more as a bottom really.”

Well. Technically, Harry was right. In their four years of marriage with Ethan, Louis had topped once or twice.

Harry must have seen his face, because he was quick to recollect.

“But I’m alright, I’m… Quite versatile.” He said, smiling, his teeth shining in the room only lightened up by the small bedside lamp and the moon outside.

“Good.” Louis muttered, before grabbing the bottle of lube and uncapping it. He looked up to Harry when he felt the other man’s hand spreading on his stomach.

“Shhh… There’s no rush.” Harry said in a hushed toned, smiling. “Want to make you feel good.” Before going back down on Louis, taking his cock in one swift movement into his mouth. Louis let his head fall down against the pillows and tried his best to stop his hips from jolting up, even though Harry made it pretty much impossible, his hands grabbing the duvet and clutching it.

Harry’s mouth was all kinds of perfect, warm and wet around his cock, alternating between gentle sucking and licks, his cheeks hollowing, his hand tugging on his cock, rubbing all that his mouth couldn’t reach.

“Shit… Harry... If you don’t stop I’m gonna come.” He said in a pleading, moany voice, his hands having moved on on Harry’s head, not tugging on the curls but just grounding himself.

Harry let his cock out of his mouth with a small pop, and went back up, kissing Louis’ neck.

“Wanna open me up?” He whispered against Louis’ ear.

Louis nodded and took a hold of the bottle of lube. Trying to fight off the dizziness of the alcohol and his arousal. He gently pushed Harry down on the fluffy mattress and made quick work of opening him up, slowly circling his hole at first before entering with one, two digits, and after a few minutes he was three fingers deep into Harry, the younger man moaning into the pillow and writhing underneath him. He moved his fingers lazily, taking his time to prep Harry, making it sure it was good for him, grazing his prostate, every single touch against it making Harry mewl in the most beautiful way, his head falling back, a light sheen of sweat forming on his forehead.

Louis felt in a daze, seeing how he could make Harry fall apart under him, how wrecked he looked, his curls circling his angelic face on his slightly damp forehead. His own cock was almost hurting on how hard he was, desperate for friction or some kind of relief.

“Louis… Please…” Harry moaned. “Want… Need you in me.” He pleaded.

Louis nodded and put a condom on his cock as fast as he could, tugging on it once or twice, and couldn’t help but to let little moans escape his lips, feeling almost delirious with relief.

He aligned his cock and entered slowly Harry, and almost felt breathless at how good it felt. Under him, Harry let out a long desperate moan. Once he was all the way in, he bottomed out, before crashing back into Harry and stopping his moves, letting Harry some time to get used to the pressure, bracing his hands next to Harry’s head.

“Move, Louis please, move” Harry begged, taking a hold of Louis’ neck and pulling him down towards him, their mouths crashing together in a bruising, messy kiss.

Louis gratefully obliged and soon the only sounds in the room were the sound of skin slapping against skin and of course Harry’s ominous moans. Louis was not the loud kind in bed, well, not anymore, but Harry was the definitely the loudest man Louis had ever encountered, a good competitor to how he was himself before. Now Louis was more about small gasps and hisses with the occasional whine.

Their movements were a bit hectic and unsure, both of them still intoxicated.

They were still kissing sloppily, their teeth clattering and their tongues going slow against each other, contrasting from the almost punishing rhythm of Louis’ hips against Harry’s ass. Suddenly, Harry’s arms circled Louis’ body and he was clutching him hard, his lips separating from him in a loud sob, and Louis felt a hot spurt against his stomach. A few more pushes and Louis was collapsing on Harry, coming deep inside Harry.

They were both panting, Harry’s fingers tracing patterns on Louis’ sweaty back.

“That was…” Louis began, before feeling Harry stiffening all of a sudden under him. He frowned, and continued. “… Incredible.” And felt Harry relax.

Harry’s tension made him feel bad, he sighed and moved over so he could lay next to him. He didn’t really know what to say, the exhaustion and hangover taking over. He was just waiting for his massive freak-out about “ _Oh my God, I slept with my intern”_ to happen but he didn’t have a single bone in his body that felt bad about it. Harry got up, went to the en-suite bathroom and came back with a damp flannel, smiling at Louis as he cleaned them both up. He discarded the cloth on the bedside table and took the duvet that somehow had ended up falling down from the bed onto the floor, covering the both of them up, earning a drunken giggle from Louis. Harry opened his mouth as if to say something and stopped himself, sighing. He crunched his nose and finally spoke.

“So… Are you okay with what happened?”

Louis turned around to lay on his side, his arm bent, hand holding his head.

“To be honest, I am way too drunk and tired to have this conversation.” He saw Harry scrunching his nose again and added. “But no. I don’t feel bad. I had way too much fun to regret it. You?”

“No.”

“Good.” Louis really wanted to avoid an awkward conversation, so he rose a bit and kissed Harry square on the lips, before lying flat on his stomach and clutching the pillow with his arms. “Goodnight Harold.”

“Harold?”

Louis didn’t answer, instead he closed his eyes tighter, pretending to be already blissfully sleeping.

 

++++

 

The next morning Harry opened his eyes, feeling his head pounding and his body sore. He rubbed his hands on his eyes, turned around and… _oh._

Next to him was Louis, still sound asleep. He stared at him for a couple of minutes, his feathery hair and the light golden of his skin. His mind started recapitulating the previous night’s events and his stomach tugged a bit, scared of Louis’ reaction when he would wake up. Last night had been incredible, but Louis had been so drunk, having had at least six cocktails and a few shots. He certainly was conscious about their actions and had wanted to sleep with Harry, since he was the one who asked him to go back home, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to regret it on the morning. But last night, something had changed and he had been able to see a Louis that he had never seen before.

He settled for avoiding confrontation as he got up and went into the bathroom, to take a shower. Wincing at the soreness in his ass and thighs.

He took his time, even scrubbing himself with the scrub Gemma had offered him after getting some free ones from her job at Lush, and conditioning his hair as well. He looked himself in the mirror, taking in the dark circles under his eyes, his exhausted look, but mostly the red bruise on his collarbone left by Louis the night before.

After brushing his teeth, he exited the bathroom, his hair in a towel, another one loosely wrapped around his hips that he was holding with his hand, feeling fresh and rested, even though his stomach was still a bit aching and burning from all the alcohol. He saw Louis peeking from under the covers, just one eye open. He opened his mouth to say something but Louis closed his eye and pretended to be asleep. He raised his eyebrows and decided that Louis probably wanted to avoid the awkwardness too, so he went on and started drying himself a bit, before opening his dresser to get a fresh pair of underwear.

He looked at himself furtively in the dresser’s mirror and. _Oh._ Behind him he could see Louis peeking from under the covers again. As soon as he had turned around to face him, Louis had closed his eyes again, pretending once more to be dozing off. Harry felt himself flush and a warm feeling spread on his inside, definitely not related to his painful stomach. He retained a chuckle and bent, reaching for the very bottom drawer, taking out a pair of boxers, Giving Louis a chance to admire his bottom under the towel. He sharply straightened up, turning once again around, finding Louis with his eyes closed, but this time his little teeth were cutely biting his bottom lips, his face now almost entirely out from under the duvet. Harry shook his head, a huge grin spreading on his face. If Louis wanted to play, Harry was game.

He let casually the towel fall at his feet, putting the boxers on, hoping Louis was watching the show and put on his remaining clothes, opting for casual ones since he was meant to change into his hospital uniform anyways, making the task excruciatingly slow and moving his hips in what he hoped was a seductive way with every move, hesitating to take one step further and apply some lotion on his body. He then jumped on the bed, uncovering Louis by pulling the duvet off, earning a high shriek from the older man.

“Did you appreciate the show?” He asked, barely containing his giggles anymore.

“Get off me Styles!!!” Louis shrieked, his face visibly reddening and. Oh.

Louis was only wearing his boxers, that were doing a poor job of hiding his boner, his hard cock straining against the stretchy fabric. Harry paused, feeling his cheeks become the same color as Louis’. Apparently, Louis was mortified and hid his face behind his hands.

“Well…” Harry started, Louis uncovering his face and looking at him with embarrassment, making it really hard for him to hide a grin. “I guess it’s nothing that cannot be dealt with…” Before going down and kissing Louis’ stomach, his hands making a quick work of taking off Louis’ boxers.

 

+++

 

One hour later, and after another successful round, they were on their way to work, each clutching a warm to-go cup of coffee, walking in companionable silence.

Except, Harry’s mind was all but mute. A thousand of questions were going on in his head at a hundred miles per hour.

_What are we going to do at work? Will he act different? Was this a one-time thing? Should I mention that I know he’s divorced? Or should he bring this up? What should I do?_

Harry felt slightly nauseous, as Louis, on his side was acting perfectly normal. They finally reached the hospital and just before opening the door to the entrance, Louis turned around and clutched Harry’s arm.

“Harry. Before we get into the hospital.” He began, his eyes shifting from point to point, not making eye contact. “I think it’s better for the both of us if we keep it to ourselves, alright?”

“Of course!” Harry sputtered.

“Good.” And not leaving any chance or time for him to recollect, Louis was entering the hospital, and soon they were in the children’s emergency room, Louis reading the planning of the day aloud, not leaving a second to Harry to think.

 

+++

 

Their morning was filled up, he and Louis going from patient to patient, without a second to spare for them to talk or exchange a glance and sooner than later Harry was sitting down with Niall at the cafeteria.

Niall was grinning at him, apparently not containing his excitement anymore. In his defense, it wasn’t like he and Louis had been anything but subtle the previous night when they had been kissing in the middle of the dancefloor, allowing everyone to see them.

“Hazza! So, did you get some last night stud?”

Harry flushed, before tucking into his food.

“No. I mean, we kissed at the club and that’s it. It was a drunken mistake anyway and we both agreed to it. Where did you sleep by the way?” He asked, trying to sound casual.

“Well, since I thought you and Tomlinson were fooling around at home, I didn’t go back and slept at Zayn’s.” Niall explained, munching on his bread roll, looking to be deep in his thoughts. “Thought you really were getting some with Tommo though, you guys looked pretty into it at the club.”

Harry shrugged. “It would have been stupid anyways, he’s my supervisor. Also we both didn’t really feel attracted to each other, it was the alcohol speaking.” He explained, trying to sound convincing so Niall would eat up his lie and let it go once and for all.

Niall seemed satisfied with the explanation and they continued eating and talking casually.

 

+++

 

Harry entered the empty locker room around seven o’clock that night, exhaustion settling in his bones, making them feel heavy. He hadn’t slept much the night before and now that he had added a day of hard work to the mix, all he was dreaming of was an early night. He began to undress, putting his regular clothes back on and finally zipping his hoodie. Niall had had a brief day, finishing off his day at four o’clock, therefore he had promised to get dinner ready for them so Harry could go to sleep right after.

Behind him, the door slammed, and Harry turned around to greet whoever had entered and discovered Louis, looking at him with hooded eyes. He couldn’t help but get a feeling of _déjà vu,_ the memory of a furious Louis crowding him against the lockers flooding his mind. In the blink of an eye, Louis had crossed the room, attaching his lips to Harry’s, who at first jumped in surprise, before deepening the kiss and closing his eyes. Louis’ hands clutching at his hips.

They kissed for a few breathless seconds, before Louis detached his mouth from his, opting to suck bites and kisses into his neck, Harry barely containing his needy whines. Apparently Louis was a biter and loved marking him, and he was doing just that, adding a few loves bites to the collection Harry was already wearing on his torso and collarbones.

“Thought about doing this the whole day.” Louis groaned, his hands shifting from his hips to clutching his ass firmly and squeezing it hotly.

Harry closed his eyes, feeling the arousal pulsing through his veins.

“We can’t go at my place…” He muttered between two moans. “Niall.”

Louis visibly faltered at that, looking at Harry with discomfort, before attacking his neck again.

“Showers then…” He ordered, unzipping Harry’s hoodie and spreading his hands on his torso.

That night, Harry entered his and Niall’s flat with several new lovebites on his neck and other parts of his body, feeling all kinds of sated and boneless.

 

+++

 

The next few weeks Harry found himself more often sneaking around with Louis than not. That’s how he ends up for instance riding Louis at a torturously slow pace on his and Niall’s couch one Saturday afternoon, Niall being gone to see a footie match and after Louis had texted him _“What are you up to?”_ , or that Harry finds himself having an orgasm right next to a plastic skeleton into the supply closet, biting his hand to tame and suppress his uncontrolled moans. During the month that followed their salsa night, it’s all made of sneaky kisses, handjobs and taking advantage of every single of Niall’s outings for Louis to come over.

They never go to Louis’ place. They never talk. About what they are, what they do, Louis, his divorce or the reason why he doesn’t want Harry to come over at his place. Harry knows better than to ask, but also he kind of feels bad because he knows partially why, without leaving a chance to Louis to tell him himself.

 

+++

 

**_16th of November 2015_ **

 

Harry and Louis got out of their shift at late hour of the night, or more like early morning from the hospital.

The weather had been cold for a few weeks, but there was no way they expected for snow to greet them when they exited the building. As soon as they opened the door, they were met with an eerie, almost unrealistic silence in the street, a white coat covering the pavement and the sidewalks. Inside his ribcage, Harry could feel his heart flutter with excitement, his cheeks feeling numb because of the sudden cold. Snow made him still feel like a kid, the wonder still intact. Next to him, Louis giggled and the air puffed around him in a cloud of mist.

Despite his amazement, Harry faltered, realizing that the Northern line of the underground and the buses were not functioning for two more hours, and he simply couldn’t call a taxi or an Uber, the snow probably blocking the whole circulation. His and Niall’s flat was two hours away by foot, even more so considering the snow, there was absolutely no way he could walk that far at such a late time. He frowned, realizing that by the time he would reach his flat he would probably have to leave soon to go back. He sighed and started thinking about sleeping in the hospital.

Louis must have sensed his distress, his crinkly eyes having transformed in a questioning look, and now he looked deep in his thoughts.

“You can crash at my place if you want.” He muttered, almost inaudibly.

“Where do you live?” Harry asked, sounding a bit too hopeful to his taste.

“Around fifteen minutes by walk, tops. Come on.” Louis said, still looking at his feet, before starting to walk, Harry following him in tow.

True to Louis’ words, after fifteen minutes of walk, they arrived in front of a little two stories house made out of red bricks, with a white bow window on the first floor. There was a little garden in front of the house, covered by snow, guarded by a brick wall the same color as the house and a black metal woven gate. The door was a light baby blue, sporting a big “36” in big silver letters.

Louis seemed hesitant as he fished the keys in his coat pocket, but still opened the door and lit the light inside the house. Harry entered behind him, carefully taking off his boots and his coat, shaking his hair to remove the small snowflakes that were caught in his curls. Louis did the same, closing and locking the door.

The silence was deafening, Harry not knowing what to say. He just stared at his socked feet, his mind scrambling for something to say. He didn’t know whether he should compliment the house or not, his instincts telling him that Louis surely had shared this house with his husband before the divorce.

He finally straightened his neck and looked around, the whole room giving him an odd impression. It looked perfectly normal, but Harry couldn’t quite put his finger on what felt weird, when suddenly he realized: despite his coziness, the whole living room looked like a showroom. Inhabited. If Louis had effectively lived with his husband under this roof, all marks of that seemed to be vanished, gone.

There was a chimney in the centre of the room, but its top was free of pictures or decoration. A big sofa stood in the middle of the room with a love chair next to it, a big woolly plaid thrown on top. There were no pictures on the walls, no frames, nothing. Everything was impeccably tidy. But there was not a single touch of Louis’ personality. The whole room looked like an Ikea mock-up room or a shop, void from any personal belongings or traces indicating that someone actually lived there.

Harry felt his heart shrink in his chest, because he could feel it now. In this room, he could see what Louis has been hiding behind his cold appearance and his nasty remarks. The unhappiness, the sorrow. He turned around to face the older man who was looking at him, looking fragile, as if entering the house had stripped all the layers of protection he was wrapped in before. He opened his mouth to say something but Louis beat him to it, almost throwing himself into Harry’s arms, kissing him, as if he was begging him not to say anything.

Harry grabbed him and lift Louis up, using his hands and their leverage on Louis’ thighs, not interrupting their bruising kiss.

“Bedroom. Up.” Louis ordered, panting.

That night, Harry felt like he was having sex with someone else. Louis was not being his usual self. He opened Harry up with almost surgical precision, before asking him to turn around, Harry not being able to restrain a frown. Usually they always had a bit of missionary before switching to doggy style, but that night, Louis took him straight from behind, his hips keeping a perfect linear rhythm against his ass, not faltering or changing. As soon as Harry came, Louis stopped, removing the condom before going into the bathroom to discard it and bringing back a flannel for Harry.

They laid down next to each other, both staring at the ceiling in silence.

“Louis… Are we alright?”

Louis closed his eyes.

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I just… It’s complicated.”

Harry nodded and tentatively closed the distance between the two of them, trying to suggest a cuddle with his position.

“Are you angry at me? Did I do something wrong? Did you... Not want it?” Harry said, desperate, trying to push the words out of Louis. Begging Louis internally to tell him, to confide in him.

“It’s alright, Harry. I’m just really tired.” Louis sighed, but let Harry cuddle him anyway, and they fell asleep in each other’s arms. Harry let it go, opting to respect Louis’ wish not to confide. He was sure that in time Louis would tell him everything.

 

+++

 

The next morning, Harry woke up to Louis looking at him.

“I’m sorry. For yesterday.” He simply said, without any preamble.

Harry nodded, smiling timidly at him, and waiting for Louis to continue, to tell him. But it didn’t happen, Louis just pecking him on the mouth before he stood up and went into the bathroom, the sound of to shower resounding not so long after, Louis not asking him to come with him.

Harry found himself alone in bed, his mind swarming with thousands of questions. He finally decided to get up and ambled down the stairs, into the kitchen, determined to make something to cheer Louis up, like preparing him breakfast in bed. He opened the fridge and almost gasped. The fridge was empty, except for a bottle of water and a can of beer. Apart from that, nothing. The kitchen had an overall impression of cleanliness, the oven and hob obviously had never been used, and the countertop looked pristine.

“Are you finding what you’re searching for?”

Harry jumped, not expecting Louis to be there, he turned around and discovered Louis, wearing only a towel, his hair damp, with an unreadable look on his face, and flushed because Louis just caught him red-handed, sneaking around and peeking in his stuff.

“I… I’m sorry” He blubbered, looking at his feet before finally facing Louis’ gaze.

Louis seemed unaffected, almost as if he was expecting it. Harry’s breath caught in his throat, waiting for the explanation, for something to come. But the older man just shrugged and came next to him to close the door of the fridge, his hand slowly raising and ruffling Harry's curls in a tender way.

For a second, Harry found himself able to see a flicker of the same Louis he saw the previous night, bare, fragile and hurt, but then it all switched back and Louis smiled at him timidly.

“There’s a Tesco a few blocks away, we can go and pick something up on our way to the hospital, if you’d like to. I hate to use the kitchen.”

Harry nodded in assent, and they went back upstairs, Louis to finally get dressed and Harry to shower and get ready as well. They exited the house into the cold morning, the wind biting at their skin. They walked in silence for a dozen of minutes before entering the shop, its warmth a welcomed change from the outside temperature and the smell of fresh bread out of the oven making Harry’s stomach grumble as he realized that since his Mars bar the previous night at around six o’clock he hadn’t eaten anything else.

They came out of the shop a few minutes later, both munching on their food, a cinnamon swirl for Harry and a plain croissant for Louis, not caring about the crumbs getting on their scarves and coats.

“I received an email from the hospital this morning.” Louis began, sounding a bit breathless because of the cold and his chewing. “They’ve got an open position for head of the whole pediatric department, Miranda is retiring.”

Harry's face brightened up. “Are you going to apply?”

“Do you think I should?”

“Of course Louis!” Harry exclaimed, a wave of warm affection spreading through his chest at the fact that Louis would even ask for his advice, and the bashful smile he gave in return to his answer. “It would be such a great opportunity, you’re doing such a great job at being the head of the children emergency room unit, I’m sure you could be perfect for the whole pediatric unit. Who’s taking the decision?”

“The whole board I guess, but Anne Cox is doing the interviews and she will have the most insight, I guess.”

Harry blanched at that, trying his best to hide his surprise. Thankfully, Louis seemed to be rambling on about the board, the interview process, not noticing the strange look on Harry’s face.

They entered the hospital, Louis still rambling when a loud voice resounded, screaming Harry’s name. Harry turned around, discovering Niall racing to him, with a mid-angry mid-anxious look on his face.

“What the fuck Styles?” Niall spat, panting to retrieve his breath. “Have you ever heard about mobile phones?”

Harry flushed, feeling as if his phone that was actually located in his jeans pocket was burning a hole in the fabric. He had completely forgotten to warn Niall about his whereabouts during the night. Niall must have been dying of fear, waiting for him to come back home. Harry’s stomach knotted with guilt. He felt bad about the way he had been treating his best friend the last month, always lying and sneaking around.

Harry opened his mouth to blubber an excuse, but Niall jumped, taking him into a bone crushing hug.

“I was so scared, thinkin’ we would find you frozen to death in a curb.” He said, his Irish accent thickening with the emotion.

Harry patted his back, trying not to notice as best as he could the pinched look Louis was giving them, his lips pursing.

“I’m sorry…” Harry said, hoping his voice would translate how bad he felt on the inside.

“It’s alright. Let’s have dinner tonight, yeah?” Niall asked, having visibly calmed down.

“Of course, I’ll cook!” Harry offered, hoping that some tacos and a good discussion would clear the air between them and make Niall forgive him.

“Awesome, see ya!” cheered Niall “Bye, Louis!” He waved the pair, before retreating back to the elevators to reach his department.

Harry sighed, thinking about the discussion they would have that night and whatever excuse he would have to invent to explain the fact that he spent the night outside their flat and also why he seemed more akin to stay in recently and let Niall go out alone.

 

+++

 

That night when Niall entered the flat, he was met with the delicious smell of food and spices. Harry was already waiting for him, wearing an apron and with a timid smile he greeted his best friend, that really seemed way more invested in the food that was spread on the table than about his sheepish smile and the reason behind it.

Harry felt bad. That’s why he had bought food to feed an army and spent two hours cooking Niall’s favorite Mexican dishes. The feast was spread on their kitchen table, almost leaving no room. They sat down at their huge wooden table, Niall not hesitating before tucking in the food and complimenting Harry on how good everything looked.

“So…” He said, between two bites of nachos with homemade guacamole. “I know you love me and all, but you obviously have something hiding behind all this food. You feel guilty about something.” He swallowed. “So who’s the guy?”

Harry almost spat his fruity drink on the table, choking himself a little. Fuck, Niall was quick.

“Oh come on, I’m not _that_ stupid!” Niall laughed, “I mean, first of all you have that _I-just-had-sex glow_ all the time now, plus you’ve been super sneaky, always taking calls in your bedroom, and obviously as soon as I get out of the flat the guy is coming over. I’ve asked your mum; she hasn’t seen you in a decade either, so you have definitely not been seeing her.”

Harry could feel his face turn a bright hot crimson, overwhelmed by all this information. _His sex glow? His mom?_ He took a deep breath and recollected himself.

“Okay. So. My mom?” He asked, tilting his head on the side.

“Yeah, we talk sometimes. Proper sweetheart. Also, I’m just your best mate looking out for you. So I try to get my info from the other person who knows you the best in the world.” Niall smiled, chewing on his food, making Harry feel warm with fondness.

Harry nodded. “My sex glow?” He asked in a small voice, feeling his cheeks redden a bit more, as if it was even possible.

Niall took a sip of his drink, seemingly trying to act some kind of villain or spy that was in possession of the best and most confidential secrets that could end the world if revealed. “Yeah, you have an after sex glow, like I don’t know how to explain, but I know when you get laid. Your cheeks get all highlighted and peachy, and you’re always whistling under your breath. Dunno if your boyfriend’s told you that, and I can confirm, but you are loud and the walls are paper thin.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Argued Harry, realizing instantly that he had betrayed himself when he saw the huge grin splitting Niall’s face in half.

“So there’s a guy!” Niall exclaimed victoriously, almost throwing his fist up in the air.

“Yeah. I mean, we’re not anything serious. We just… It’s just sex.” Harry said in a small voice, pinching his bottom lip between his teeth. “I mean, it’s hard to explain.”

Niall looked at him, his eyes almost bulging out of their sockets.

“He’s not married, is he?”

“No, of course not.” He reassured Niall, who sighed in relief and sagged on his chair.

“Okay. As long as you don’t get too attached or hurt…” He concluded.

Harry made a small smile as an answer and immediately changed topic. “So, how often do you call my mom?”

 

+++

 

Later, Harry had just entered his bed, covering himself with the duvet when he felt his phone vibrating next to him on the bed. He frowned, discovering Louis as the caller ID. They rarely called each other, opting more often to text and call when they didn’t get an immediate answer.

“Hello?” He said, keeping his voice low, knowing now after tonight’s conversation that Niall was probably in his bedroom, right next to his and that the walls were definitely not soundproofed.

“Hi...So what did you tell Niall?” On the other side of the line, Louis sounded anxious.

“Told him I was seeing someone. Well, in fact he already had guessed.” He answered, rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

“Did you say who it was?”

“No, no. Don’t worry.” Harry sighed, feeling slightly annoyed at Louis’ paranoia. He wasn’t that stupid. It was pretty obvious that sleeping with his supervisor wasn’t the smartest thing to do for the both of them.

“Thank God Liam isn’t as bright as Niall apparently” Louis giggled. “He still thinks that I’m doing some squash after work.”

Harry laughed, imagining Louis in tiny shorts, chasing a ball around, feeling the pressure leaving his body as he felt that Louis was relaxing on the other side of the line. “What are you up to?”

“Filling the application papers, upgrading my schedule, that kind of stuff. Kinda feeling lonely.” Louis said in a falsely casual voice.

Harry closed his eyes and imagined him, in his big empty living room, papers spread on the coffee table, lounging on the love chair with a glass of wine, his feet covered by the blanket he had seen.

“Liam and his girlfriend are on date night, so I’m keeping the fort I guess.” Louis chuckled.

Harry reopened his eyes, frowning. “You’re not at your place?” He asked, biting his tongue afterwards because of his curiosity.

On the other side of the line, Louis sighed. A beat passed before his voice sounded again in the receiver.

“I... I don’t like to be alone at my place. It’s... Yeah.”

“Alright.” Harry let a beat pass, not knowing what to say and not wanting to intrude either. “I understand.”

“And you, what are you up to?” Louis asked, in a conversational tone, obviously trying to change the topic. Harry frowned. It was unusual for them to talk for the sake of talking. Their rare exchanges were about work, or to arrange where and when to see each other.

They never had had a cuddling moment when they would just discuss things, confide in each other. They always settled for a purely sexual or professional relationship. Louis had never seemed interested in what Harry was doing apart from work or sleeping with him.

“Nothing much. I’m in my bed, had dinner, a bit of TV.” He rambled on.

“That’s… Well. That’s good.” Louis said, obviously not knowing what to say to follow and keep up the conversation. “I’m gonna leave you to it then.”

“Alright. Good night, Louis.”

“Night.” Harry was about to hang up when suddenly Louis’ voice came through the phone once again, sounding shy and tentative.

“Oh... and Harry?”

“Yes?”

“It was nice hearing your voice.”

Harry felt heat spread through his veins, and couldn’t contain his grin.

“Yours too.”

He could hear a small huff on the other side of the line.

“Right. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Louis hung up, Harry looked at his phone, still smiling, his cheeks almost hurting from it, before reaching the lamp on his bedside table and shutting the light off.

 

+++

 

Weeks passed and finally, Harry and Louis both agreed that it was way more simple to see each other at Louis’ place. First because they could be, or at least Harry, as loud as they wanted.Also it was close to the hospital. Despite him asking numerous times, Harry had never been allowed to cook at Louis’ place, the room staying empty and untouched like a sanctuary, even though Louis found Harry’s cooking skills quite to his taste. But the main reason was to avoid Niall and his antics.

The Irish lad had taken a brand new liking in going out and suddenly coming back unannounced, pretending various excuses to justify his early return, when in fact it was obvious he was hoping to catch Harry and the mysterious guy in the act. (Which was quite disturbing to be honest, Niall being ready to expose himself to a traumatizing scene for the sake of satisfying his curiosity.)

In fact, he had almost succeeded once, but thankfully, Harry had come in Louis’ mouth just as the door of the flat opened, leaving Louis enough time to run out of the room and into the en-suite bathroom, and for Harry to retrieve a dildo from under his bed. The dildo ended up being thrown at Niall’s face as soon as he opened the door to the bedroom. Harry had never heard a human being shriek so loud, and the outrageous missile had offered Harry and Louis two more hours of fooling around, Niall having left the flat in emergency to buy disinfecting liquid in industrial quantity.

Harry liked spending time with Louis, but couldn’t help but feel some slight discomfort regarding the situation when they were in Louis’ house. He felt as if he was in _Rebecca_ , or _Jane Eyre_ , feeling as if someone else was living in the house, or that ghosts were hiding in every cupboard. The kitchen, but also the overall house, looking deserted and like an empty shell, void of personality and life. It was now obvious to him that the only times Louis went back to his house was with Harry, opting to sleep at Zayn’s or Liam’s when they weren’t seeing each other. He had a hunch on why Louis didn’t want to be alone in his house, and was desperate for Louis to explain what had been going on in that place. He knew he and his ex-husband had divorced, but it couldn’t be that terrible, right?

But at the end of the day, Harry didn’t care, and if he felt his heart swell just a little bit when he saw Louis sleeping next to him in the morning when he woke up, he decided it was worth not knowing what Louis didn’t want to share.

Also, Harry tried not to think about what was going to happen to their relationship after his internship would end in February.

 

+++

 

It was a late afternoon just before Christmas break, Harry was getting coffee at the vending machine, bracing himself for the two final hours of his shift, Louis having disappeared God-knows-where during their break, when suddenly he felt two hands sneak around his waist, hugging him tightly.

“Guess who is in the three final selected people for the pediatric unit?” Louis muttered, his mouth close to Harry’s ear, barely containing his excitement.

“Congratulations!!!” Harry exclaimed, clutching Louis’ hands on his stomach with his free hand that was not holding a simmering hot cup of coffee.

Louis took a glance around and let Harry go, putting his hands promptly in the pockets of the bottom of his uniform. Harry faltered a bit. Right, those kind of intimate and nice moments weren’t the kind they shared usually, Louis must have let himself get infected by the good news.

“They’re making the final decision within today and tomorrow, they have a meeting and we’ll know by the end of the week.”

Harry cleared his throat and kept his voice low, hoping he sounded as sexy and seductive as he intended to. “I guess you’re in for a treat tonight...”

Louis grinned, his eyes crinkling up adorably and cocking his eyebrow up, before sighing in annoyance.

“Got a meeting with the emergency room department. Some budgetary annual closing stuff.” Harry winced, visibly disappointed. “But... I guess I could give you the keys and you could go ahead at my place and get yourself all loose and ready for me?” He murmured, dangling his keychain on his pointer finger after getting it out of his pocket.

Harry couldn’t hold his grin, feeling his cheeks tinging with pink, his stomach fluttering with arousal and excitement. He bit his lips, licking them slightly, Louis following the movement with hooded eyes.

“I’ll put some champagne on ice…” He murmured.

“Good. Don’t forget the strawberries.” Louis winked and began retreating in the corridor, Harry for once, was sharing his shift with Perrie, so they would be separated the rest of their afternoon.

He tried his best to hide the obvious excitement he was feeling and sat down next to Perrie, grabbing a few metallic tools on a metal tray, and starting to sort them out.

“What’s up with you, Styles?” Perrie asked, looking at him pointedly. “Tomlinson and now you. What’s going on with the people in this department.” She shook her head, her blonde curls bouncing around.

“What about Tomlinson?” Harry blubbered, trying to hide his surprise.

“Dunno, but he is definitely getting some. Never seen him so relaxed.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, either he’s got someone or he’s planning something evil, but either ways I’ve never seen him like that. Barbara, who has been working here for decades told me she hasn’t seen him like this in years.” Perrie rambled, focusing on her task. “And apparently you are infected too by this sudden good mood.”

Harry laughed it off, internally feeling the relief when he realized that Perrie not suspicious about the two of them as he had thought she was doing at first. Perrie’s hands stopped moving, and she scrunched her eyes like a hawk.

“Yup. Definitely getting some.” She shook her head again, barely hiding her grin.

 

+++

 

Harry had never been so impatient for a shift to end. Not that Perrie’s company wasn’t fun, especially that afternoon after she had tried everything, from tickling to serious threats in order to discover what was going on in his life.

He entered Louis’ house, carrying three bags from Tesco. He winced internally, recalling the old guy’s face at the till when he had checked out, his shopping basket containing, among others: whipped cream, condoms, lube, strawberries and a bottle of rosé champagne. Typical romantic/sexy night equipment. Harry had felt like such a cliché.

After dumping the bags on the floor, he took his mobile out, shooting a text to Louis, of course not forgetting to add an emoji, knowing perfectly the hatred Louis had for them. Harry often took a malicious delight in texting Louis only a string of emojis, imagining Louis’ infuriated face as he looked at his phone.

He had also gotten a few, flameless electric candles from various sizes, going from tea lights to huge ones. He disposed them all in the bedroom but also on the stairs, dimming the lights so he could get the perfect romantic atmosphere. 

After retrieving two glasses and a bucket that he had filled with ice, he put them on the bedside table along with the champagne and the strawberries that were sitting in a bowl.

Taking a long breath, he undressed himself, folding his clothes away neatly and spread himself on the bed, clutching the bottle of lube.

He uncapped the bottle, coating generously his fingers and rearranged himself comfortably against the pillows, taking a peek at the clock. Seven thirty-eight. He had around twenty minutes to open himself up and get ready for Louis.

He circled his hole with his fingers, closing his eyes, and taking deep breaths. After applying a little bit of pressure on his rim, he entered his pointer finger first, letting out a sigh and holding back a moan, his hand switching position and reaching for his cock, giving it two or three pumps, spreading some lube on it.

Behind his eyelids were flashing images of Louis, his face when he came, the way he crinkled his eyes when Harry had a chance to see a genuine smile…

Harry was three fingers deep, moaning loudly when suddenly the sound of someone banging on the door downstairs made him jump. He froze on the bed, his skin raising in goosebumps. He hadn’t locked the door, knowing that Louis was coming home soon and it was obviously ruining the effect of surprise if he had had to go downstairs to open up the door.

The banging sounds not subsiding, Harry got up and retrieved his boxers and put them on, as well as his t-shirt. He hurried downstairs and opened the door. Louis was going to get back any minute now.

Behind the door was a man, a little bit older than him, who looked as stunned as he felt.

“Who the _fuck_ are you?” The man asked, his voice bitter.

The man looked good, despite his bellicose appearance, he had brown hair, milky skin with two green eyes in almond shape.

“No, _who are you_?” Harry asked, trying to sound aggressive after recollecting himself.

“You are the one who’s in my ex-husband’s house wearing underpants.”

Harry blanched. _My ex-husband._ This was Louis’ husband. Fuck.

“Ethan?”

The man turned around, revealing Louis behind him, in the middle of the path, looking shocked.

“What the fuck is going on Louis?” Ethan spoke, apparently his anger not having diminished. “Why is there a guy in your house when you’re not there?”

“I think that it’s none of your business.” Louis spoke with an aggressive tone. “This house is mine as I recall.”

“Wow.” Ethan turned around to give Harry a withering look, before turning back to Louis who had made his way up the path and next to him on the stairs to the threshold. “Fucking a teenager. That’s low. Even for you, Louis. Is he one of your interns? I recall it’s one of your weaknesses.”

Harry felt as if he had been slapped, humiliation spreading through his veins and he couldn’t stand Louis not even looking at him or defending him. Louis was next to Ethan on the stairs, leaving him alone on the threshold of the house. A beat passed, Louis still saying nothing. He huffed and turned around, racing up the stairs to get his stuff, his eyes prickling with angry, hot tears. As expected, Louis didn’t follow him up, the argument with Ethan having resumed once again, completely ignoring the younger man. Harry grabbed his bag as well as all his stuff and rushed down the stairs.

Louis and Ethan had moved and were in the living room, arguing, Ethan apparently wanting Louis back. Harry tried to be as discreet as he could but Louis’ eye caught him.

“Harry, please, don’t leave.” Louis begged, his voice sounding tired and hoarse. His face was unreadable, a mix of anger, sadness and utter distress.

Harry stopped in his steps, feeling angry and confused. But mostly furious at Louis, because deep down, Harry imagined the feeling he would have had if he hadn’t known from the start that Louis had been married. Right now Harry would probably feel devastated, in the middle of something he hadn’t seen coming from anywhere. And even if the fact that he had known had softened the blow slightly, he couldn’t stand Louis not defending him whatsoever, or taking his side after Ethan had gravely insulted him.

“I think you have other things to tend to at the moment.” He spat, opening the door and disappearing in the night.

He started running, hot tears finally rushing down his cheeks, a stark contrast with the cold, dry air of the December night. The streets were silent, only his loud footsteps against the asphalt and his gasps for air resounding in the night. But inside his head, Ethan’s voice was screaming, contrasting with Louis’.

_My ex-husband. Remember the strawberries. Fucking a teenager? That’s low, even for you. It’s complicated. I recall it’s one of your weaknesses. Goodnight Harry._

Harry wanted to scream so those voices could finally go mute. How foolish had he been? He finally reached the underground and half an hour later, he was slamming the door to his and Niall’s flat. His tears making him hyperventilate. Inside his coat, his phone was perpetually buzzing with texts and calls from Louis.

 

 [View post on imgur.com](//imgur.com/I30MD4L)

“Haz?” Niall appeared in the corridor, sounding and looking worried, and gasped when he saw his best friend’s state. “Oh my, Harry, what happened.” He rushed, embracing Harry in a bear hug.

Harry couldn’t talk, not yet, just shook his head, his loud sobs wrecking him apart.

It took Niall one hour, and a few glasses of whiskey, tea ending up not being efficient in that case, to get Harry to calm down and finally articulate a comprehensible sentence.

But since then, it was like a dam had broken. Harry telling him everything, the salsa night, the sex, him sneaking around and the conversation he overheard in the locker rooms, Ethan, and finally that night and Louis’ reaction. Now they were silent again, Harry crying quietly, clutching a pillow against his stomach.

“Wow… Haz…” Niall muttered. “What are you gonna do? Do you want to switch internships? Your mom could arrange something. I mean, there is like two months left, less if counting the break.”

Harry closed his eyes. The internship. His mom. That was a part he hadn’t told Niall yet.

“No, I’ll ask Perrie to switch shifts with me for a few weeks and then I’ll act professional and remain distant.”

“But you know Louis is going to try and talk to you, right?”

“If I avoid him, he won’t and even if he comes to talk to me, that doesn’t mean I’ll listen to him.”

“Harry…” Niall said in his soft voice, the one he used usually when he was about to say something he knew Harry wouldn’t like. “Don’t you think it could be a good thing for you and Louis to talk?”

Harry shook his head.

“I don’t want to hear him out. Seriously, if what his ex-husband said is true, I fell into that trap once again. Louis has been using me for sex, probably like every intern he had.” He sniffled, his voice thick with tears. “He never had any intention to keep this little game up after the end of my internship anyways.”

Niall widened his eyes, before frowning. “Haz, I know you’re angry but don’t you want a chance to hear him out? I don’t think Louis would be capable to do that...I wouldn’t trust his angry ex-husband if I were you. He probably wanted to hurt the both of you, and seeing your current state, he brilliantly succeeded. Don’t you want to hear Louis’ version, at least to get some closure? You have feelings for him, right?”

Harry let out a crackling sob, nodding once again and burrowing his head into the pillow. After an hour, his eyes started to be scratchy, the exhaustion of crying slowly lulling him into sleep, feeling overwhelmed after such an eventful night. He rose to his feet and bid Niall goodnight before retreating in his bedroom, holing himself under his duvet.

 

+++

 

The next morning, Harry woke up to Niall gently poking him, holding a cup of freshly made coffee and smiled, thankful to have such a great best friend. They both got dressed up and left their flat, taking the underground to the hospital. As they approached the hospital, the closer they were, the harder Harry’s heart was beating, making him feel almost dizzy, shivers traveling all-over his skin.

“Are you gonna be alright? We can still go and ask for a change of internship.” Niall said, in his best reassuring voice.

Harry closed his eyes, wincing. “I’m gonna be alright. I’ve already texted Perrie.”

He tried to put on his bravest face, but as the meters separating him from the hospital door were decreasing, his hyperventilation was starting to get really strong, and his anxiety was through the roof. Niall took his hand in his, squeezing it and giving him a reassuring look.

Harry focused on his breathing. _In and out. In and out._ He could do it. All he had to do was avoid Louis for the morning, go with Perrie, join Niall for lunch and then at six he would be free. Easy.

“I can’t…” Harry whispered, his voice breaking. “I can’t go in. I’m sorry Niall. Please, I want to go home.”

“It’s okay Haz. It’s perfectly normal. Lemme just call a cab.”

“No it’s fine I’- “

“I won’t let you take the tube. Not in this state.” Niall settled in a firm voice, before fishing his phone out of his pocket and ordering a cab.

Harry immediately regretted his decision, as soon as he got into the cab. It meant that he had let Louis win. That despite all that he had pretended, Louis had effectively broken his heart. But at that moment, he didn’t care. He just wanted to sleep and forget, so he spent his day in bed, sleeping.

 

+++

 

On the other side of London, at the hospital, Louis was finally arriving at the hospital, one hour late. He had spent an eventful night, Ethan not wanting to leave the house and worrying for Harry.

After Harry had left, Ethan and he had kept arguing. Apparently Ethan and his boyfriend weren’t happy anymore and with the holidays coming up soon, Ethan had felt so nostalgic that it had seemed a good idea to barge into his ex-husband’s life, destroying all that he had. Louis winced, thinking at how despicable and untrue were the things that Ethan had said to Harry, but even more because how cowardly he had been himself. Seeing Ethan in front of his house the previous night had been like an electrical shock to him. He had been so baffled, that the whole scene had played in front of his eyes but he had been stuck, unable to move or to say something, anything. Anything that could have spared Harry from giving him such a hurt, betrayed look. As soon as the door had slammed behind Harry, it was as if Louis had woken up from a coma, and suddenly he had let it all out.

Once Ethan had been gone, it was way too late for Louis to go and find Harry at his flat, plus he didn’t want to have to explain to Niall what he was doing at such an ungodly hour of the night in front of their door.

His head swarming with thoughts, he got changed, knowing he would meet Harry and hoping he could get a word before the start of their shift. But he was met with Perrie outside of the changing rooms.

“Harry is sick; he’s not coming in today.” She explained, shrugging.

“Sick?”

“Yeah, that’s what his roommate told me.” Perrie looked at him, cocking her perfectly shaped eyebrow. “You’re not going to fire him because he was sick once, are you?” She asked, giving him a bitter look.

“No… Of course not…” Louis said, barely hiding his consternation.

Louis started to ponder his options. He had no idea where Harry had gone. Probably to his and Niall’s flat. But even so, Louis wasn’t sure Harry would want to hear him out. Louis couldn’t possibly sneak out of work now and leave the whole unit in Perrie and Barbara’s hands, even though he knew they were perfectly capable of handling it. Not when Anne Cox was probably at her desk, in the higher floors of the hospital, making a choice that was going to change his life. He couldn’t lose everything. He had already lost Harry.

He blanched, realizing that before he had met Harry, work had been his whole life. He had been unfocused, foolish. He couldn’t afford to lose what he had worked so hard for, especially when there was probably a slim chance that Harry would be agreeing to listen to him. So he stayed focused, knowing it was a matter of time until he would get a call from the direction.

So, as usual, he threw himself into his work, not thinking about anything else for a spare second, not leaving any space for distraction.

He didn’t even take a lunch break, opting to finish work as early as possible to go and see Harry at his flat.

Sure enough, at ten to seven, he was ringing on the door, almost jumpy with expectation. He was definitely dreading to see Harry and confront him. But he was ready.

_I’m gonna explain everything, and say I’m sorry. And maybe, maybe then he’ll forgive me. I’ll swear that it will never happen again. And I will ask him if he wants something serious. A relationship, built on trust._

The door opened, Niall appearing behind it, looking positively livid as he discovered who had been on the other side of the door.

“What the fuck do you want, Tomlinson?” He asked without any preamble, his voice bitter.

Okay. So maybe Louis had been wrong about the Harry-not-saying-anything situation. Well, he wasn’t here to get annoyed at that anyways, but to make amends. He nodded, taking a deep breath.

“I would like to talk with Harry.”

“I’m not sure he wants to talk to you right now.”

“Niall. You know that at some point he and I will have to talk. Regardless if he wants it or not, and you know it’s the best thing to do. Can I at least come in?” He said, trying not to sound like he was begging, but sincere enough to convince Niall that his intentions weren’t bad.

“Okay.” Niall opened the door a little wider so Louis could get in. “Go into the living room, I’ll try and fetch him from his room but I can’t guarantee anything.”

“Thank you.” Louis smiled, giving a friendly tap on Niall’s shoulder before going into the living room.

Niall and Harry’s flat was enormous, a proper loft, the flat had been built in an old factory. Therefore, the living room was huge, but still feeling homey. A huge sofa was in the middle of the room. The room had two immense bookcases against the walls, filled with paintings, pictures and different knick-knacks Niall and Harry had brought back from different trips. Louis had never had the chance to really pay attention to the contents of the bookcases, but now it was a welcomed distraction from the muffled voices he could hear coming from Harry’s room. Plus, Louis was feeling restless and sitting down calmly on the sofa was something not imaginable at that moment, so he settled to pace in front of the bookcases, looking at their contents.

He smiled as he saw different pictures of Niall and Harry, probably in Ireland, Harry and the blond lad sitting on a green pasture with gorgeous coastal cliffs in the background. Suddenly his glance paused on a picture and Louis blanched as he saw the people in it. He carefully reached for the frame, looking at it closely, his stomach shrinking as he recognized the people on the picture.

Next to a young, presumably seventeen years old, Harry was sitting Anne Cox. The woman who was supposed to decide Louis’ future. And suddenly it all fell into places. Seeing them next to each other, their eyes, the dimple in their cheeks, the resemblance was so evident Louis almost sneered bitterly. It was so obvious.

Anne Cox was Harry’s mother. Memories started to flood his spirit. Fractions of conversations. Each of them daunting Louis.

_“I get it from my mom. She’s a nurse.”_

_“I know that feeling, it’s the same for me I guess.”_

_“Your mom is a nurse too?”_

_“Kind off…”_

_Harry’s face when he had told him that Dr Cox was the decision maker._

_“I guess you’re in for a treat tonight...”_

It was all so obvious. Louis felt nauseous, betrayal seeping in the pit of his stomach. Harry could ruin everything. But worse, he had encouraged him. Why? Was he hoping that his mom could give his supervisor, that he was screwing, a higher position? Was that all a joke? Louis could never accept the position, not in those circumstances. Louis was snatched out of his thoughts when Harry, Niall in tow behind him, entered the room.

Harry looked like shit. His face was pale, except for his red rimmed eyes and he looked like he hadn’t slept in a century. He was wearing an old band t-shirt on his grey comfy joggers. But Louis was too angry to care. Because he was here to make amends about lying to Harry, but Harry wasn’t completely clean either, and his lie, his betrayal, would have much bigger consequences on Louis’ life than simply not explaining his marital situation. Louis put the frame on the table, the picture facing Harry. The younger man’s face visibly got paler, his gaze focused on the two smiling faces of the picture.

“When were you planning to tell me that Dr Cox, Anne Cox, is your mother?” Spat Louis, sounding livid. “When she will be giving me the position, which I will be accused of obtaining because I fooled around with her son, or when she will announce me that I didn’t get it, and making me feel and look like a fool because of the same reason?”

A beat passed, Niall’s mouth was comically hanging open, his mind picking up and assembling the pieces of the implication Louis had just made, before leaving the room, leaving the two of them facing each other.

“Louis... I…” Harry began.

“There’s no Louis!” He shouted, anger driving him mad and making him dizzy. “What the fuck, Harry! How could you do this to me? How could you hide this?” He continued, searching for Harry’s gaze, to finally confront him, hoping that deep in those jade irises he could see the truth.

“Are you the one talking about hiding things, really?” Harry scoffed, crossing his arms in front of his stomach. “When the explanation you gave me about everything for the last three months has been “It’s complicated”? When you lied to me about using me for sex like you did with every single one of your interns? When you didn’t mention you were married and it took your ex-husband barging on us for me to discover the truth?”

Louis winced in disgust, exhaling loudly, his blood boiling. How could Harry even believe a single word of the terrible allegations Ethan had said that night? And if Harry was foolish enough to believe him, then screw him too. He couldn’t stand being with someone who had such a low opinion of him. He scowled and started walking, directing himself towards the entrance door of the flat, not wanting to stay a minute longer. Everything was ruined anyway.

“Aren’t you going to say something? Defend yourself?” Harry asked, disbelief mixing with anger in his voice.

Louis brusquely turned around, facing Harry, his eyes piercing Harry’s green ones. They were centimeters apart, Louis almost feeling Harry’s breath on his face.

“What do you want me to say, Harry?” He spat. “Yes. I was married to Ethan. I never, ever, had a relationship with any of my interns. But it’s not important anymore, feel free to believe him if you want.” He said, his voice breaking at the end, opening the door and disappearing in the corridor.

 

+++

 

The next morning, Louis was walking with a determined tread as he entered the hospital. He had woken up that morning feeling sad, disappointed, heartbroken but at the same time a hundred years wiser. He was done with breakups, with dishonesty, with being a workaholic and sacrificing everything for nothing.

After a very serious conversation with his mom, and then with Liam and Zayn, he had taken his decision, knowing they would support him.

He had spent almost five years of his life in this hospital and he needed a break. His job had already made too much damage on his life, and now was time to reverse the trend. He took the elevator, bringing him to the seventh floor, and walked down the corridor, feeling his heart beating. Louis was scared, but regardless he was going to do it. He had sacrificed so much, and now it was time to reward himself. He knocked on the door, and waited for an answer.

Sure enough, ten seconds later, Anne Cox appeared behind the door, greeting him with a surprised but still warm smile.

“Doctor Tomlinson, I wasn’t expecting you. Is everything alright?” She said in her inviting voice, letting Louis in her office.

Louis took a deep breath and smiled at her with his best fake smile.

“Yes, everything is great.”

 

+++

 

Harry came into the hospital late that morning. After a stern conversation with Niall, he hadn’t been able to sleep, his mind burdened with the events that had taken place during the previous day.

He had screwed up. Well, maybe Louis had screwed up too, but he was the one who had been throwing accusations at Louis and that had been the most dishonest between the two of them. But he was determined to explain everything to Louis. He would ask him to have lunch together and he would beg for his forgiveness. But all his plans fell apart when Perrie ran to him in the corridor, jumping excitedly.

“What’s happening?” He asked, in a grim voice.

“I knew it!” She yelped. “The Tommo is getting some! Guess what?”

Harry felt as if a bucket of cold ice had been thrown at him. _Perrie knew?_ That meant everyone knew, but how?

Obviously too excited to contain it anymore, and not willing to deal with his astonishment, Perrie kept talking. “The little shit. He has taken a ONE MONTH VACATION!!! I told you something was up!” she shrieked.

“O…One month?” He blubbered, feeling for the second time of the day that the sky was falling on his head.

“Yes!!! I don’t know the details, but basically Barbara is in charge now! Isn’t it incredible?”

“Yeah... It’s… Amazing.” He said, his voice sounding feeble.

What was Louis doing? Had he left the hospital? Was he leaving because of Harry? He needed an explanation, but apart from Louis himself, no one would be able to tell him what he was up to.

But now was no time for wondering, he had to work. At lunch break he escaped, hiding in the toilets and tried to call Louis, one, two, three… Five times. The other man wasn’t answering.

Sadly, his texts were left unanswered, Louis apparently not even reading them. Harry frowned at his phone, as if the device was going to tell him the answer. He sighed, deciding to play his last card.

[View post on imgur.com](//imgur.com/LdYKT8v)

 

Not even a minute passed that Harry’s phone vibrated in his hand, a notification for a new text message popping on the screen.

[View post on imgur.com](//imgur.com/azLpF03)

Harry’s eyebrows scrunched, the tears welling up in his eyes. Tapping a response on his phone.

[View post on imgur.com](//imgur.com/Vmz5TOM)

 

He leant against the wall, a tear rolling down his dry cheek, the timer of the lighting shutting the lights off automatically. His phone buzzed once again, the screen lighting up the whole room that was now plunged in darkness.

[View post on imgur.com](//imgur.com/fkrdwSg)

Harry wanted to scream. Where was Louis going? He couldn’t lose Louis, not now, not at the moment when they were this close to finally have a relationship. Not when Harry was finally figuring out that he was falling in love with him. He rose from his slouched stance, realizing he had one final card to play: Louis’ friends.

He rushed to the cafeteria, bumping into Liam on his way. Apparently, Liam was expecting Harry to come and see him, but that didn’t mean he was pleased to see him. He looked seriously embarrassed.

“Liam! Where is Louis?”

“I can’t tell you Harry, I’m sorry.”

“Liam please, I’m begging you. I need to talk to him.”

“He asked me specifically not to tell you. I’m sorry. Bye Harry.”

Liam nodded at him politely, before walking off. Leaving Harry alone in the corridor, feeling crushed and helpless.

 

+++

 

On the other side of London, Louis shut down his phone, staring at it while the small wheel was turning on the screen, signaling that the device was shutting down. He sighed, the lump in his throat making it difficult. Behind him, the door of the office he was sitting in opened, a tall and curvy blonde woman entering the room with a big smile.

“So, Mr Tomlinson, is it?” She asked, extending her arm to shake his hand. “Ann Davies, very nice to meet you.”

She released Louis’ hand, sat down behind the desk, rearranging a few pens that were loitering the table, before opening the file in front of her.

“So, you have decided to sell your house. That is a big decision.” She punctuated all her sentences with a saccharine smile. Making Louis laugh internally as he thought that he had probably been doing the same thing in all his years of working with patients, especially kids. He nodded.

“Yes, I think it’s time for me to change scenery. I have lived alone for two years in this house, and I’ve come to realize it’s too big for me. I would like to move in a smaller flat, get closer to the centre of the city.”

His realtor was nodding, carefully writing what Louis was saying. Louis felt his heart flutter with excitement in his chest. He was on the right track.

 

+++

 

That night, Harry entered his flat feeling more drained and tired than he ever had felt. These few days had been a nightmare.

It was clear, and the whole unit team had to finally admit it, that it was hard functioning without Louis. Despite his cold, exigent behavior, Louis was the one everyone was relying on. The whole day had been hectic, everyone seeming lost without him.

He took of his coat, hanging it on the coat rack while toeing off his boot.

“Niall?” He called, around him the flat was completely silent, there was no sign of his roommate. Maybe he had had a late night shift? That was unlikely, since Niall always kept him updated.

He let his bag fall on the floor, walking forward to the kitchen while ruffling his curls in his hands. The flat was completely silent, but oddly the light of the living room was on. He entered the room and almost jumped.

Louis was sitting on the sofa, an unreadable look on his face.

“What the…” He uttered, the words dying in his mouth.

“Ethan and I got married in spring. It was beautiful. Then, a year and a half later, I came in early from the hospital.” Louis paused. “Of course I had my doubts.” He sighed, Harry frowning at him, not knowing why he was telling him all of this, but the older man was already resuming his monologue.

“But I didn’t expect to find him fucking Liam’s intern in our kitchen.” Harry gulped, thinking about the empty kitchen in Louis’ house.

“You guessed it. That’s why I never go in the kitchen. After that, it went pretty much downhill, but we agreed that I got to keep the house, Ethan and his new boyfriend apparently wanting to start over.” Louis chuckled bitterly. “So I lived alone, in the house, but being alone there was driving me mad. A young couple visited it this afternoon. They fell completely in love at first sight, especially with the kitchen. Funny isn’t it?” Louis shook his head, looking at his hands on his lap, an unreadable look on his face.

He suddenly raised his head, looking at Harry straight in the eyes. “I have never fooled around with one of my interns. And I _never_ have been using you for sex.”

Harry felt the tears well in his eyes, in front of him Louis, beautiful, strong, Louis was sitting, raw, free of all of his secret.

“Louis…” He started, his voice thick with the tears he was suppressing.

“I got the position. You’re looking at the new head of the pediatric unit. I’ve negotiated with your mother to enter my new position in February, when your internship will be done, so there will be no problem or accusations thrown at us. In the meantime, it gives me some time to rest, move into my new flat and well, you wouldn’t imagine how many weeks of holidays I had to take anyways.”

Louis stood on his feet, moving closer to Harry, looking at him straight in the eyes.

“Your mom and I had a good talk yesterday. She told me everything, the accusations you had to face from some people when you got into med school. And I get it. I really get it, and I forgive you. You were stuck, you didn’t know what to do and it’s alright.”

Louis rose his hand tentatively, caressing Harry’s cheek softly, catching the tears that were now flowing uncontrollably.

“We both lied. We both screwed up. But what you just heard is the truth.”

Louis bit his bottom lip, sucking it in, his eyes shining.

“Louis. I knew that you were married before.”

Louis blanched, recollecting fast.

"It's alright. I should have told you myself, instead of you finding out by yourself. I should have defended you against Ethan." He said in a calm, reassuring voice.

“I’m in love with you.” Harry whispered.

Louis’ breath hitched and he released a shaky breath.

“I’m in love with you too.” He said simply, smiling at him. Then, Louis stood on his tiptoes, and finally connected their mouths. His lips were tentative at first, just brushing and caressing Harry’s, before the younger man opened his lips, deepening the kiss.

Harry felt arousal and love seep through his veins, and another feeling, one he couldn’t put quite his finger on it. When he finally figured it out. _Home_. Kissing Louis was like coming home.

His arms circled Harry’s tall and lean figure, caressing his back slowly. His tongue brushed over Harry’s eliciting a moan from him. Harry broke off their kiss, panting.

"I'm so sorry."

“Shhh…” Louis interrupted him with a peck. “I know, baby, I know. Can we…?” He looked down, he and Harry both sporting two obvious erections under their pants. Harry blushed, especially because of the endearment, thinking he could definitely get used to Louis calling him his baby.

Harry kissed him urgently, his hands snaking around Louis, grabbing his ass, eliciting a gasp from the older man.

They moved around in the room, Harry walking backwards and Louis guiding him, until they crashed into Harry’s room, Louis throwing him on the bed before straddling him. Harry sitting almost upright, his back against the bedframe, propped against the pillows.

Louis bent slightly and attacked Harry’s neck with his teeth, sucking and biting at the skin, Harry whining under him.

Louis suddenly stopped and straightened himself, facing Harry,their crotches rubbing together, eliciting small sparks of pleasure. He looked at him, as if he was pondering something.

“Is there something wrong?” Harry asked, his hands spreading on Louis’ stomach and hips, grounding him.

“I want…” Louis flushed adorably, his fringe hiding a part of his face. “Want you inside me.”

Harry felt as if he was going to explode. “Don’t say that kind of things, or you’re gonna make me come instantly.” He scolded Louis, trying to keep a joking tone despite his arousal. He carefully reached for his bedside table, taking a hold of a condom and the bottle of lube.

Louis was making quick work on undressing himself, leaving only his boxers on, before undressing Harry and settling back in a straddling position.

Harry uncapped the bottle and coated his fingers, stretching the waistband of Louis’ underwear so he could reach his cock, coating it with lube, spreading it on his length, the cold slippery liquid mixing with the precome that was already on the tip, giving it a few tugs. Louis closed his eyes, whining, his hips jolting in small movements, anchoring himself by circling Harry’s neck with his hands.

Harry carefully lowered Louis’ briefs, coating his fingers again with lube and circled Louis’ hole with his wet fingers. Louis’ breath hitched, stopping Harry in his motion.

“Are you ready?”

“Y..Yeah but I haven’t bottomed in a long time.”

“Don’t worry, I’m gonna make it so good for you.”

“I know.” Louis smiled, and moved forward to peck Harry.

Harry moved his fingers again, grabbing Louis’ arse cheeks, spreading them a little, and finally with his fingertips put light pressure on the rim. Louis on his part was carding his fingers through Harry’s hair, tugging slightly at the curls, fingers scratching faintly against his scalp, his eyes not leaving Harry’s.

A few minutes later, Louis was a vision. He was riding Harry’s fingers, three fingers buried deep inside him, his head tipped back, whining and hissing, a small sheen of sweat on appearing on his forehead as his hips moved at a slow pace, enjoying every second of the feeling Harry gave him. His thighs were trembling, shuddering with the effort, Harry almost delirious underneath him, holding Louis’ head with his other hand, massaging his neck.

“Look at you love, riding my fingers, so good for me, fuck, Louis, you’re so hot…” He moaned, his cock leaking, making him wet with precome.

“Have been dreaming of this, fuck.” Louis hissed, moving his hips sinuously, the movement hypnotizing Harry.

Suddenly, Harry felt a small ball of nerves under his fingertips and crooked his fingers slightly, making Louis shout, his rim squirming around his fingers.

“Harry, baby, want you now, or I’m gonna come.” He begged, his voice wrecked and needy.

Harry grasped the condom, handing it to Louis, his hands not able to open it because of the slippery lube. Louis opened his eyes, looking at him with hooded eyes and shook his head.

“Want to feel you…” He whispered.

“Are you sure?” Harry asked, the sole idea of feeling Louis, skin against skin, making him dizzy.

“I’m clean. Have you…?”

“Never. Only you. And I’m clean too.”

Louis smiled, before moving forward, his teeth slowly grazing Harry’s earlobe. Harry removed Louis’ boxers, the older boy spreading himself  on the mattress, giving his cock a few lazy tugs. Harry crawled up his body, brushing Louis’ hair out of his face, Louis opening his legs.

“Ready?” He asked. Louis nodded as Harry took a hold of his cock, coating it generously with lube and aligning it with Louis’ hole. He shuddered, closing his eyes, a thousand of stars and fireworks, hell, a supernova, exploding behind his eyelids as he entered Louis. Louis felt so hot and tight around him, he could feel chills and electricity spread throughout his whole body right from his head to toes. He bottomed out, before slamming back in, both of them letting escape loud moans.

“F-Fuck Louis, you feel so good.”

“Yeah, baby, fuck.” Louis said, as his hips moved to meet Harry’s, Harry whimpering a louder sound. Louis’s thigh circled his hips, squeezing them.

Harry bent his head, capturing Louis’ lips in a bruising wet kiss, his hips snapping, pushing out little gasps out of Louis. His arms were trembling, both hands on each side of Louis’ head, his thrusts speeding up, Louis’ gasps getting louder and louder, moaning into his open mouth.

Louis hand reached and cradled Harry’s cheek, steadying him while their mouths reconnected.

“So beautiful.” Louis whined. “So good to me. The best. Always.”

Harry’s eyes clenched, focusing on not to come, not yet.

“Always.” He sobbed. “ _Mine._ ”

“Fuck” Louis gasped under him, his whole body arching. “M’gonna come.”

“Come on.” Whispered Harry, taking a hold on Louis’ cock, tugging it. “Come for me, love.”

One quick twist upward and Louis was coming under him, his cock spurting hot white ribbons of come all-over Harry’s fist and his stomach, Louis sobbing into the pillow, his voice sounding hoarse and wrecked, his hole clenching around Harry’s cock.

A couple of thrusts and Harry was joining Louis, coming deep inside him, shouting out nonsense. Louis hugging him through his orgasm, holding him tight against his chest.

They were panting, Harry lying on top of Louis, their bodies shining with sweat, holding him close.

“I love you.” Harry broke the silence of the room, raising his head to look at Louis, who gave him the most sated, radiant smile he had ever seen.

“I love you, too.”

 

+++

 

Later that night they found themselves eating Chinese takeaway, both sitting on the kitchen counter wearing just their underwear and Louis an old hoodie that belonged to Harry, at an ungodly hour of the night, because they had had first to make up for the lost time. And apart from that, Ethan had been right about at least one characteristic regarding Harry: he had the stamina of a teenager.

“I wonder where Niall is, though.” Harry wondered aloud, picking carefully a piece of sweet and sour chicken between his chopsticks, carefully examining it, making sure there were no peppers. (they had had a heated argument about it before, “Who really likes peppers anyway?” had wondered Harry to a deliriously fond Louis.)

“Hmm…” Louis masticated his five-spices beef. “He knew I was here. Called him before coming. I guess the lad really is an optimist. Left for the night.”

Harry giggled, swallowing his chicken, before becoming serious again.

“I haven’t had a chance yet to really say I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you. And I love you. And I'm sorry for everything too. For being a jerk since the day we met, and for everything else, really.”

“I love you too.” Harry smiled, decidedly not tired of saying it, convinced he was not going to get tired of those words anytime soon. “So, what are you planning to do on your long vacation?”

“Well, as I told you, the house will be sold soon, so finding a new flat and… Spending time with my boyfriend, who could maybe help me with the flat hunting?”

“Boyfriend?” Harry asked, barely suppressing the overly happy smile on his face.

“I think it’s a good title.”

“I could get used to being called your boyfriend.” Harry grinned.

“Well... don’t get too used to it either.”

Their faces smiled as they met in unison, capturing each other’s grin in a kiss.

 

_**The end** _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you if you have read till the end!! Hope you had as fun reading it as I did writing!
> 
> My tumblr is: [Kissingloubear](http://kissingloubear.tumblr.com) come and say hi, as well on Twitter [@Kissingloubear!! ](https://twitter.com/kissingloubear)
> 
> Say hi to my beta too:[ Justmefeelingtherain](http://justmefeelingtherain.tumblr.com/)
> 
> About the manips, it was the first time doing them and it was around 4 am when I did them. And yes, Salt is actually a telephone company - it was really funny when they revealed their name, a lot of english speakers had a good laugh. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> EDIT 7.21.16: an epilogue is coming very soon!!! In 2 weeks approx.! 
> 
> PS: I live for comments, so please if you liked it, it would be really nice if you could comment, so I'll be encouraged to post more in the future!


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